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Updated: April 30, 2025
Cuss 'em, they won't visit a new man, or new plantation. They are too aristocratic for that. They have a circle of their own. Like the rooks, too, they are privileged to scour over the farmers' fields all round home, and play the very devil. "And then a fellow can't hear himself speak for 'em; divide, divide, divide, question, question, question; cau, cau, cau, cau, cau, cau.
Enter Gayman like a Ghost, with a Torch. Sir Cau. Oh Lord, oh Lord! Gay. Sir Feeb. Gay. Thou call'st in vain, fond Wretch for I am Bellmour, Whom first thou robb'st of Fame and Life, And then what dearer was, his Wife. Sir Cau. Oh Lord oh Lord! Enter L. Fulbank in an undress, and Pert undrest. L. Ful. Heavens, what noise is this? Sir Feeb. Stay, Madam, stay 'tis I, a poor trembling Mortal.
I am convinc'd last night I was with Julia. Oh Sot, insensible and dull! Enter softly Sir Cautious. Sir Cau. So, the Candle's out give me your hand. SCENE V. Changes to a Bed-chamber. Lady Fulbank suppos'd in Bed. Enter Sir Cautious and Gayman by dark. Sir Cau. L. Ful. Where shou'd I be in Bed; what, are you by dark? Sir Cau. Ay, the Candle went out by Chance.
I'd have you to know I scorn any man's secrets, Sir; for ought I know you may whisper Treason to me, Sir. Gay. I wou'd not be so uncivil, Sir, before all this Company. Sir Cau. Uncivil! Ay, ay, 'tis so, he cannot be content to cuckold, but he must tell me so too. Gay. But since you will have it, Sir you are a Rascal a most notorious Villain, Sir, d'ye hear Sir Cau. Gay.
How, my Nephew ravisht! Pert. No, Sir, I am his Wife. Sir Cau. Hum my Heir marry a Chamber-maid! Bea. Sir, you must know I stole away Mrs. Dy, and brought her to Ned's Chamber here to marry her. Sir Feeb. My Daughter Dy stoln Bea. But I being to go to the Devil a little, Sir, whip what does he, but marries her himself, Sir; and fob'd me off here with my Lady's cast Petticoat Noi.
'Twas that first drew me in The tempting Hope of Means to conquer you, Wou'd put me upon any dangerous Enterprize: Were I the Lord of all the Universe, I am so lost in Love, For one dear Night to clasp you in my Arms, I'd lavish all that World then die with Joy. L. Ful. Gay. Enter Sir Cautious, Bearjest, Noisey and Bredwel. Sir Cau.
L. Ful. Sir Cau. L. Ful. Stand off I do abhor thee Sir Cau. With all my Soul but do not make rash Vows. They break my very Heart regard my Reputation. L. Ful. Which you have had such care of, Sir, already Rise, 'tis in vain you kneel. Sir Cau. No I'll never rise again Alas!
L. Ful. Is my Lady at leisure for a Visit, Sir? Bel. Always to receive your Ladyship. Sir Cau. With me, Sir, wou'd you speak? Gay. With you, Sir, if your name be Fulbank. Sir Cau. Gay. I've something to deliver to your Ear. Sir Cau. So, I'll be hang'd if he do not tell me, I'm a Cuckold now: I see it in his Eyes. My Ear, Sir!
Well, Sir but my Lady, you must know, Sir, has the common frailties of her Sex, and will refuse what she even longs for, if persuaded to't by me. Gay. 'Tis not in my Bargain to sollicit her, Sir, you are to procure her or three hundred pounds, Sir; chuse you whether. Sir Cau.
You are so generous, Sir, that 'tis almost with grief I receive the Blessing of Leticia. Sir Feeb. No, no, thou deservest her; she would have made an old fond Blockhead of me, and one way or other you wou'd have had her ods bobs, you wou'd Enter Bearjest, Diana, Pert, Bredwel, and Noisey. Bea. Justice, Sir, Justice I have been cheated abused assassinated and ravisht! Sir Cau.
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