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Updated: June 25, 2025
"Say rather the worst!" "'Ere's a nice, big 'ole in the coat, sir," said Mr. Brimberly, unfolding the garment in question, "and the weskit, sir; the pocket is tore, you'll notice, sir." "Excellent, Brimberly!" "As for these trousis, sir " "They seem rather superior garments, I'm afraid!" said Mr. Ravenslee, shaking his head. "But you'll notice as they're very much wore round the 'eels, sir."
Brimberly, comfortably ensconced in Young R.'s favourite armchair, nodded ponderously and beat time to the twang of Mr. Jenkins's banjo, whereto Mr. Stevens sang in a high-pitched and rather shaky tenor the latest musical success yclept "Sammy." Thus, Mr. Jenkins strummed, Mr. Stevens trilled, and Mr.
Brimberly's mouth opened, and eventually Mr. Brimberly rose and surveyed the intruder slowly, up from glittering shoes to the dome of his head and down again; and Mr. Brimberly's ample bosom surged, his eye kindled, and his whiskers ! "Cheer-o!" nodded the Old Un. Mr. Brimberly blinked and pulled down his waistcoat. "Me good man," said he, "you'll find the tradesmen's entrance round the corner.
"Clothes, sir yessir. There's the noo 'arris tweed, sir " "With holes in them, if possible, Brimberly." "'Oles, sir! Beg parding, sir, but did you say 'oles, sir?" "Also patches, Brimberly, the bigger the better!" "Patches! Hexcuse me, sir, but patches! I beg parding, but " Mr. Brimberly laid a feeble hand upon a twitching whisker.
"Oh, 'e 'd be right enough if it warn't for 'is gout which gets 'im in the big toe now and then, and 'is duns and creditors and sich-like low fellers, as gets 'im everywhere and constant! 'E'll never be quite 'imself until 'e marries money and plenty of it!" "A American hair-ess!" nodded Mr. Brimberly. "Pre-cisely! I very nearly married 'im to a rich widder ten years ago.
Brimberly coughed and pulled down the garment aforesaid for the third time, since it is then that the real action of this story commences. Be that as it may, it is beyond all question that nowhere in this wide world could there possibly be found just such another pair of whiskers as those which adorned the plump cheeks of Mr.
"Shares, Joe, are a vanity; all is vanity they weary me. Mr. Brimberly yawns, and you look sleepy good night, Joe; pleasant dreams." "Good night, sir!" and touching his right eyebrow, Joe went out, closing the door behind him. "And now," said Mr. Ravenslee, puffing languidly at his cigar, "referring to the necessary object, there is a chance that it may be found even yet, Mr. Brimberly!"
"Object, sir," murmured Mr. Brimberly, "found, sir to be sure, sir." "Yes; I intend you shall find it for me, Brimberly." Mr. Brimberly's abstraction gave place to sudden amaze. "Find it wot, me, sir? Hexcuse me, sir, but did you say " Mr. Brimberly actually gaped! "You, Brimberly, of course!" "But but wot kind of a hobject and where, sir?"
Brimberly puffed his cigar to a glow, though to be sure he coughed once and choked, as he met Young R.'s calm grey eye. "Now," pursued his master, "if you're quite comfortable, Mr. Brimberly, perhaps you'll be good enough to er hearken further to my tale of woe?" Mr. Brimberly choked again and recovering, smoothed his writhing whiskers and murmured: "It would be a honour!"
Ravenslee took a pipe from the rack, filled it with quick, energetic fingers, and proceeded to light it, watched in dumb amaze by the gaping Brimberly. "Brimberly," said he, "I shall probably return to-morrow." "Yes, sir," said he faintly. "Or the day after." "Yes, sir!" "Or the day after." "Yes, sir!" "Or the day after that; anyhow, I shall probably return.
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