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Updated: May 24, 2025
She's a pink queen, she is, and after that one waltz with her I can look cold-eyed at a row of Tessie girls stretchin' from here to the Battery! It was a little matter between me and Mother Sykes that starts me off to hunt a new boardin' place. Lovely old girl, Mother Sykes is, one of the kind that calls everybody "Deary" and collects in advance every Saturday night.
His name is B. McGuffey, esquire, an' I'll lay you ten to one you'll find him asleep in Scab Johnny's boardin' house. Go to him, Scraggsy, an' bring a pint flask with you when you do; wake him up, beg his pardon, take him to breakfast, and promise him you'll do somethin' for his boilers. Old Mac's got a heart as tender as a infant's. You can win him over." "Oh, Gib, use some common sense.
"I hain't seen you for a long time." Miss Panney returned the salutation, and stood for a moment in thought. "Phoebe," said she, "when did you last see Mike?" "Well, now, really, Miss Panney, I can't say, but it's been a mighty long time. He don't come into town to see me, and I's too busy to go way out thar. I does the minister's wash now, besides boardin' him an' keepin' his clothes mended.
If he had not been, there would never have been this story to tell of his Little Bel's school-teaching, for there would never have been money enough in the bank to have given her two years' schooling in Charlottetown, the best the little city afforded, "and she boardin' all the time like a lady," said the severe McIntosh aunts, who disapproved of all such wide-flying ambitions, which made women discontented with and unfitted for farming life.
"Yes yes, indeed. Don't take me long to eat not at my boardin' house. A feller'd have to have paralysis to make eatin' one of Lindy Dadgett's meals take more'n a half hour. Um-hm yes." Despite his preoccupation, Captain Zelotes could not help smiling. "To make it take an hour he'd have to be ossified, wouldn't he, like the feller in the circus sideshow?" he observed. Laban nodded.
But I see from day to day that he wuz a hankerin' after it, and I almost made up my mind that I should have to let him make a trial, knowin' that experience wuz the best teacher, and knowin' that his morals wuz sound, and he wuz devoted to me, and only went into the enterprize because he thought it wuz fashionable. There wuz a young English girl a boardin' to the same place we did.
But Colonel Clive he was dog tired, an' went to his bed, sayin' as how he'd lead a boardin' party in the mornin'. That warn't exactly beans an' bacon; nary a man but would ha' took a big dose o' fever if they'd laid out on the fields all night.
Ardelia wuz to come to our boardin' place at halfpast 9 A. M., forenoon, and we wuz to set out together from there. And punctual to the very half minute I wuz down on the piazza, with my mantilly hung over my arm and my umberel in my left hand. Josiah Allen was on the right side on me. And as Ardelia hadn't come yet we sot down in a middlin' quiet part of the piazza, and waited for her.
" So that her top hamper came down in a run an' swung her broadside to our batteries." " And we poured in a hail of chain-shot and set her hull afire." " And then launched the boats for the boardin' parties," broke in Jean Lafitte, standing on one leg in his excitement; " an' so made her a prize. An' then we made 'em walk the plank amid scenes of wassail all but the fair captives." I fell silent.
I was clerkin' for the old man an' boardin' in the house, an' whenever a young feller begins to board in a house where there is a thoroughbred gal, the nex' thing he knows he'll be " "Buckled in the traces," cried Bud slapping his leg gleefully, at this, his first product of brilliancy. The old man smiled: "'Pon my word, Bud, you're gittin' so smart.
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