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Updated: May 18, 2025
"My real name," said the unfortunate convict, "as you may already have guessed, is not 5010. That is an alias forced upon me by the State authorities. My name is really Austin Merton Surrennes." "Ahem!" I said. "Then my guide erred this morning when he told me that in reality you were Marmaduke Fitztappington De Wolfe, of Pelhamhurst-by-the- Sea, Warwickshire?" Number 5010 laughed long and loud.
Suffice it to say that he did "fix me up," and that two hours later 5010 and I sat down together in the cell of the former, a not too commodious stall, and had a pleasant chat, in the course of which he told me the story of his life, which, as I had surmised, was to me, at least, exceedingly interesting, and easily worth twice the amount of my contribution to the pension fund under the management of my guide of the morning.
"I was always fond of books," explained 5010 in parenthesis to me, "and so was quite anxious to see what the club of ghosts could show in the way of literary treasures. Imagine my surprise when Hawley informed me that the club had no collection of the sort to appeal to the bibliophile. "'No, he answered, 'we have no library.
"I watched him as well as I could for a minute," said 5010; "and then he disappeared. In another minute he was before me again. "'Well, I said, 'I suppose you've been around the block in that time, eh? "He roared with laughter. 'Around the block? he ejaculated.
If it is, why, I'll wake up, and find myself at home in bed; that's all. I've clung to that hope for nearly a year now, but it's getting weaker every minute." "Yes, 5010," I answered, rising and shaking him by the hand in parting; "that's a mighty forlorn hope, because I'm pretty wide awake myself at this moment, and can't be a part of your dream.
"You see," added 5010 to me, in parenthesis, "the thought suddenly flashed across my mind that if all was as my captor said, if the house was really his and not the Ghost Club's, and if the whole thing was only my fancy, the spoons themselves would turn out to be entirely fanciful; so I was all right or at least I thought I was. So we trotted along to the police station.
"Boswell with no nose to stick into other people's affairs would have been like Othello with Desdemona left out. But go on. What did you do next?" "Well," 5010 resumed, "after I'd looked about me, and drunk my fill of the magnificence on every hand, Hawley took me into the music-room, and introduced me to Mozart and Wagner and a few other great composers.
Talked architecture with Queen Anne, and was surprised to learn that she never saw a Queen Anne cottage. I took Peg Woffington down to supper, and altogether had a fine time of it." "But, my dear Surrennes," I put in at this point, "I fail to see what this has to do with your defence in your trial for stealing spoons." "I am coming to that," said 5010, sadly.
On my way down Broadway I was suddenly startled at hearing my name spoken from behind me, and appalled, on turning, to see standing with outstretched hands no less a person than my defunct chum, Hawley Hicks." "Impossible," said I. "Exactly my remark," returned Number 5010. "To which I added, 'Hawley Hicks, it can't be you! "'But it is me, he replied.
'I'd much prefer to leave them here if there is any question of the propriety of my "Here," continued 5010, "Hawley seemed to grow impatient, for he stamped his foot angrily, and bade me go at once or there might be trouble. I proceeded to obey him, and left the house instanter, slamming the door somewhat angrily behind me.
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