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This done, he proceeded to the "Piazza," where he found the Yorkshireman exercising himself up and down the spacious coffee-room, and, grasping his hand with the firmness of a vice, he forthwith began unburthening himself of the object of his mission. "'Ow are you?" said he, shaking his arm like the handle of a pump. "'Ow are you, I say?
"Well, I'm not saying you're a criminal," said the other, taking his host literally, "but being a J.P. and on the bench of magistrates, I naturally take an interest in these cases. You never know what you can learn." "And what did your lady wife say?" asked Boundary. The Yorkshireman smiled broadly. "Well, she doesn't take any interest in these things. She's a proper London lady, my wife.
Secondly and thirdly, an honest young Yorkshireman, connected with some American house; domiciled in that same city, and carrying thither his beautiful young wife to whom he had been married but a fortnight, and who was the fairest specimen of a comely English country girl I have ever seen.
"In five minutes," Grimthorpe declares, "all the papers were put down and everyone had gathered round him to listen and laugh." At the end of the meal one Yorkshireman after the other begged the host to follow the lunch with a dinner and invite them to meet the wonder again.
Morton's house a kind of sporting snuggery, everything in apple-pie order, and very good where he baited himself on sausages and salt herrings, a basin of new milk, with some "sticking powder" as he called it, alias rum, infused into it; and having deposited a half-quartern loaf in one pocket, as a sort of balance against a huge bunch of keys which rattled in the other, he pulled out his watch, and finding they had a quarter of an hour to spare, proposed to chaperon the Yorkshireman on a tour of the hunting stables.
But now tell me, have you any objection to breakfasting in the kitchen? more retired, you know, besides which you get everything hot and hot, which is what I call doing a bit of plisure." "Not at all," said the Yorkshireman, "so lead the way"; and down they walked to the lower regions.
"Why, man, that property is worth two hundred thousand pounds." "I thought it was worth a little more," said the colonel carelessly. "You're a fool or a madman," said the angry Yorkshireman. "It isn't my mill, it is a limited company." "But you hold the majority of the shares ninety-five per cent., I think," said the colonel.
A little before nine that evening, the Yorkshireman again found himself toiling up the dirty staircase, and on reaching the third landing was received by Agamemnon in a roomy uniform of a chasseur dark green and tarnished gold, with a cocked-hat and black feather, and a couteau de chasse, slung by a shining patent-leather belt over his shoulder.
"A miss is as good as a mile," replied the Yorkshireman; "but pray what have you got in the hamper?" "In the 'amper! Why, wittles to be sure. You seem to forget we are going a woyage, and 'ow keen the sea hair is.
But this being a round game, and one not necessarily limited to three or four players, was open to John Browdie too, who, bursting into the little crowd to the great terror of his wife and falling about in all directions, now to the right, now to the left, now forwards, now backwards, and accidentally driving his elbow through the hat of the tallest helper, who had been particularly active, speedily caused the odds to wear a very different appearance; while more than one stout fellow limped away to a respectful distance, anathematising with tears in his eyes the heavy tread and ponderous feet of the burly Yorkshireman.
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