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Updated: June 4, 2025


Gamp of the belcher necktie, the mother-of-pearl buttons and the coloured waistcoat of the voluble Cheap Jack of little Paul's sweet face and gentle accents of the one eye and the well-known pair of Wellingtons, adorning the head and legs of Mr. Wackford Squeers of Sam's imperturbable nonchalance and of Mr. Peggotty's hearty, briny, sou'-wester of a voice and general demeanour!

'An honest man! cried Squeers, with a sneer. 'Ah! an honest man, replied John; 'honest in ought but ever putting legs under seame table wi' such as thou. 'Scandal! said Squeers, exultingly. 'Two witnesses to it; Wackford knows the nature of an oath, he does; we shall have you there, sir. Rascal, eh? Mr Squeers took out his pocketbook and made a note of it. 'Very good.

Wackford Squeers, the uncle and nephew at once went forth in quest of that accomplished gentleman. "Perhaps you recollect me?" said Ralph, looking narrowly at the schoolmaster, as the Saracen's Head. "You paid me a small account at each of my half-yearly visits to town for some years, I think, sir," replied Squeers, "for the parents of a boy who, unfortunately "

No extras, no vacations, and diet unparalleled." Now, mark what follows. Wackford Squeers the younger was, as we all know, destined by his parents to follow the schoolmaster's profession, to assist his father as long as assistance was required, and then to take the management of the Hall and its pupils into his own hands.

While the foregoing conversation was proceeding, Master Wackford, finding himself unnoticed, and feeling his preponderating inclinations strong upon him, had by little and little sidled up to the table and attacked the food with such slight skirmishing as drawing his fingers round and round the inside of the plates, and afterwards sucking them with infinite relish; picking the bread, and dragging the pieces over the surface of the butter; pocketing lumps of sugar, pretending all the time to be absorbed in thought; and so forth.

Immediately on entering I was solicited to invest extra coppers in a correct card, containing the names, weights, and not colours; they were all of one colour, that of the ordinary human lobster but weights, of the various forms of Wackford Squeers under twelve months, who were then and there assembled, like a lot of little fat porkers.

Why, when Mrs Squeers was brought to bed with little Wackford here, we ran the hooping-cough through half-a-dozen boys, and charged her expenses among 'em, monthly nurse included. Ha! ha! ha!

'For fear he should give me the slip, by any chance, observed Squeers, when he had finished, looking very cunning, 'I've taken three outsides for tomorrow morning for Wackford and him and me and have arranged to leave the accounts and the new boys to the agent, don't you see?

'Oh! said the gentleman, glancing at the card, 'you are the Mr Squeers mentioned here, I presume? 'Yes, I am, sir, replied the worthy pedagogue; 'Mr Wackford Squeers is my name, and I'm very far from being ashamed of it. These are some of my boys, sir; that's one of my assistants, sir Mr Nickleby, a gentleman's son, and a good scholar, mathematical, classical, and commercial.

"Am I to take care of the school when I grow up a man, father?" said Wackford junior. "You are, my son," replied Mr. Squeers in a sentimental voice. "Oh, my eye, won't I give it to the boys!" exclaimed the interesting child, grasping his father's cane "won't I make 'em squeak again!"

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