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Updated: May 7, 2025
"I move to dismiss, Your Honor," chirped Tutt blithely at the conclusion of her testimony. Judge Witherspoon shook his head. "I want to hear the other side," he remarked. "The mere fact that the defendant put up a sign warning the public against the dog may be taken as some evidence that he had knowledge of the animal's vicious propensities.
"A hen," sez Miss Tutt bitterly. "To confound my Ardelia with a hen! And I don't think there wuz ever a more ironieler `hen' than that wuz, or a scornfuller one." "Why," sez I reasonably. "Hens are necessary and useful in any position, both walkin' and settin', and layin'. You can't get'em in any position hardly, but what they are useful and respectable, only jest flyin'. Hens can't fly.
Each testified to substantially the same story and they occupied seventeen full days in the telling, so that when the prosecution rested, forty-two days had been consumed since the first talesman had been called. The trial had sunk into a dull, unbroken monotony, as Mr. Tutt said, of the "vain repetitions of the heathen."
But at last a event occurred that sort a sot him to thinkin' and quelled him down some. One day we sot out for a walk, Josiah and Ardelia Tutt and me. And in spite of all my protestations, my pardner had drinked 11 glasses full of the spring he wuz a follerin' then. And he looked white round the lips as anything.
Hear!" cried Tutt admiringly. "Fundamentally there is only an arbitrary distinction between wrongs, sins and crimes. The meanest and most detestable of men, beside whom an honest burglar is a sympathetic human being, may yet never violate a criminal statute." "That's so!" said Tutt. "Take Badger, for instance."
The firm of Tutt & Tutt claimed to be the only law firm in the city of New York which still maintained the historic English custom of having tea at five o'clock.
You were only interested in imprisoning and depriving of his only form of livelihood this old man whose heart was not hardened like yours! May I ask at whose instance you went and lied to him?" "Mr. Tutt! Mr. Tutt!" interjected the octogenarian angel. "Your examination is exceeding the bounds of judicial propriety." Ephraim Tutt bowed low. "A thousand pardons, Your Honor!
"A woman in the case!" "What sort of a young fellow is this Payson Clifford?" inquired Miss Wiggin after a moment. "Oh, not so much of a much!" answered Mr. Tutt whimsically. "And what was the father like?" she continued with a woman's curiosity. "He wasn't so much of a much, either, evidently," answered Mr. Tutt.
"And now about the will!" chirped Tutt, as after a labored encomium upon the virtues of Payson, Senior, deceased, he took the liberty of lighting a cigarette before he commenced to read the instrument which lay in a brown envelope upon the desk before him. "And now about the will!
"And er did you marry these two ladies?" inquired Tutt apologetically. "Sure!" responded Higgleby without hesitation. "May I ask why?" "Why not?" returned Higgleby. "I'm a traveling man." "Look here," suddenly demanded Tutt. "Were you ever a lawyer?" "Sure I was!" responded Mr. Higgleby. "I was a member of the bar of Osceola County, Florida." "You don't say!" gasped Tutt.
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