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Updated: June 8, 2025
"Touch his at and all, didn't you, Red Beard?" "And wish I'd never stopped touchin it!" shouted the giant. "Blasted young fool that I were! Thought I'd take a short cut to fortune, same as the rest. And where's it landed me?" He swept his hand around. "Heark to Red Beard!" giggled Fat George. "Quite the Methody man, ain't he?" A gust of passion darkened the giant's face.
"Go through nothin'," he explained. "They isn't touchin' me none whatever. Put her down fer argument that I'm damn fool enough to sprinkle lead 'round some, and that I gets away. What happens? Nex' time I drives stage some of these yere agents massacrees me from behind a bush. Whar do I come in? Nary bit!" The tenderfoot, struck by the logic of this reasoning, fell silent.
"So I heard unendin' experiences of men who had gone to sea. And at night I read everything I could get touchin' on, an' appertainin' to, sea-farin'. In my mind I've sailed the seven seas, charted unknown waters, went through all the perils I tell 'bout. Yes, sir, I don't dispute I'm a hi-mighty liar," he repeated, sighing and shaking his head.
It's Judge Trent." "Where is he?" "Went down to the basin to find Miss Sylvy." "Oh, did he?" Thinkright smiled in his interest. "Yes. Kind of a touchin' meetin', I expect," remarked Mrs. Lem, lifting her pompadour and sighing sentimentally.
"If this yere tenderfoot had been free with me, an' invited me into his confidence touchin' his designs, I'd took a lariat an' roped an' throwed Jerry for him, an' tied the felon down, an' let the Colonel wallop him an hour or so: but the Colonel's full of variety that a- way, or mebby he thinks I'll side with Jerry.
Between gent an' gent that a-way, I more'n half figger the 'ffections of a female is migratory, same as buffaloes was before they was killed, an' sorter goes north like in the spring, an' south ag'in in the winter. "'As for me; says Texas Thompson, who's moody touchin' them divorce plays his wife is makin', 'you-alls can gamble I passes all females up.
But, foxy as he was, I don't believe J. Bayard knew just how big a bonfire he was touchin' off. I know I thought he was nutty when he wants me to O.K. his plan for buyin' a hundred shares to distribute free. "Bait!" says he. "They'll bite! You watch 'em!" Well, if you've been followin' the market close, you know what happened. I expect the first bids was made just as a josh.
All at once they heard him call out from around the corner of the barn, where he had gone to steal up on them, when it was their turn to be settlers: "Aw, now, Jake Milrace, that ain't fair! I'm an Indian, now. You let go my hair." "Who's touchin' your old hair?" Jake shouted back, from the inside of the barn. "You must be crazy. Hurry up, if you're ever goin' to attack us.
Troo, as I confesses to you frequent yeretofore, I ain't married none myse'f; still, I've been livin' a likely number of years, an' has nacherally witnessed a whole lot touchin' other gents an' their wives; an' sech experiences is bound to breed concloosions.
He looked at me for a long time along the thing; then, all at once, from one string I heard the child laughin' that pleasant and distant, though the bow seemed not to be touchin'. Soon it thinned till it was the shadow of a laugh, and I didn't know whin it stopped, he smilin' down at the fiddle bewhiles.
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