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Updated: May 31, 2025
STREPHON. You saw her when you barged into us as we were dancing. She is four. THE NEWLY BORN. How I should have hated her twenty minutes ago! But I have grown out of that now. THE HE-ANCIENT. Good. That hatred is called jealousy, the worst of our childish complaints. Martellus, dusting his hands and puffing, returns from the grove. ARJILLAX. Ancients: I should like to make a few studies of you.
"Said Chloe to Strephon: 'For a kiss, I'll return thee the choice of your flock. Said Strephon to Chloe: 'What bliss, With it I'll buy Phyllis a new frock," she concluded, throwing a glance over her shoulder.
On his 'days out, those flecks of light in his flat vista of pollard old men, it was at once Mrs Plornish's delight and sorrow, when he was strong with meat, and had taken his full halfpenny-worth of porter, to say, 'Sing us a song, Father. Then he would give them Chloe, and if he were in pretty good spirits, Phyllis also Strephon he had hardly been up to since he went into retirement and then would Mrs Plornish declare she did believe there never was such a singer as Father, and wipe her eyes.
Castor and Pollux pitched their quoits, Damon and Pythias ran their races, Strephon and Chloë ogled and blushed, and Darby and Joan tottered hand in hand along, in olden times; and all over the world, to-day, the never-ending game of human passion is played and shared by eager, restless, trembling hearts.
Remember, you're not Strephon and Chloe in a pastoral; you're two most sophisticated members of a most sophisticated set, who scarcely know how to walk about excepting according to the rules of a code of etiquette. Neither of you was made for escapade, and I'm sure you don't like it any more than she will." "And so you've come to relieve the situation?" "Exactly." "And for anything else?"
You see, children, we have to put things very crudely to you to make ourselves intelligible. THE HE-ANCIENT. And I am afraid we do not quite succeed. STREPHON. Very kind of you to come at all and talk to us, I'm sure. ECRASIA. Why do the other ancients never come and give us a turn? THE SHE-ANCIENT. It is difficult for them.
Does that satisfy you? ECRASIA. At what distance? ARJILLAX. Arm's length or more. STREPHON. No. It is now quite dark. A vague radiance appears near the temple and shapes itself into the ghost of Adam. ADAM. The ghost of Adam, the first father of mankind. Who are you? THE VOICE. The ghost of Eve, the first mother of mankind. ADAM. Come forth, wife; and shew yourself to me. You are very old.
The parting is heart-breaking; but, when she has married the banker and had eight children, and he has become, it may be, a prosperous barrister, it may be, a seedy raff who has gone twice or thrice into the Gazette; when, I say, in after years Strephon and Delia meet again, is not the meeting ridiculous?
They dined with her ladyship, and left her for the night an hour after dinner; and then they went down to the gardens, and roamed about in the twilight, and talked, and talked, and talked, as only true lovers can talk, be they Strephon and Daphne in life's glad morning, or grey-haired Darby and Joan; and lastly they went down to the hike, and rowed about in the moonlight, and talked of King Arthur's death, and of that mystic sword, Excalibur, 'wrought by the lonely maiden of the lake.
THE MAIDEN. Nonsense! I care for you much more seriously than before; though perhaps not so much for you in particular. I mean I care more for everybody. But I don't want to touch you unnecessarily; and I certainly don't want you to touch me. You dislike me. You had better get a new companion. What about the girl who is to be born today? STREPHON. I do not want the girl who is to be born today.
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