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Updated: May 15, 2025
But, alas, the eyes of men fail to discern the goddess, if outward beauty be lacking. Would Sandip Babu find the Shakti of the Motherland manifest in me? Or would he simply take me to be an ordinary, domestic woman? That morning I scented my flowing hair and tied it in a loose knot, bound by a cunningly intertwined red silk ribbon.
The cheap consolations of hatred are as urgently necessary for him as the satisfaction of his appetites. Bimala has often warned me, in the old days, of his hankering after money. I understood this, but I could not bring myself to haggle with Sandip. I felt ashamed even to own to myself that he was trying to take advantage of me.
His nature was so sensitive to all omens of evil that he had at once understood. He was not easily moved, but that day he felt the dark shadow of trouble ahead. Do I not know how well he loves me? At tea-time I said to Sandip: "I have just had a letter from Rangpur. They are complaining that I am selfishly detaining you. When will you be going there?" Bimala was pouring out the tea.
From some realm of calamity has Sandip come as its messenger; and as he stalks the land, muttering unholy incantations, to him flock all the boys and youths. The mother, seated in the lotus- heart of the Country, is wailing her heart out; for they have broken open her store-room, there to hold their drunken revelry.
You cannot employ your marksmanship against a thing which is right in your grasp. So Sandip has lost his aspect of the hero; a tone of low quarrelsomeness has come into his words. Sandip kept his brilliant eyes fixed full on my face till they seemed to blaze with all the thirst of the mid-day sky. Once or twice he fidgeted with his feet, as though to leave his seat, as if to spring right on me.
He stood straight up as he replied: "I had set my heart, Sister Rani, on returning your jewels to you with my own hand. Sandip Babu knew this, but he forestalled me." "What do I care for my jewels?" I said. "Let them go. No harm is done. "Go? Where?" asked the mystified boy. "The jewels are mine," said Sandip. "Insignia bestowed on me by my Queen!" "No, no, no," broke out Amulya wildly.
This is the first funeral pyre lighted by your village in celebration of the last rites of foreign commerce. These are sacred ashes. Smear yourselves with them in token of your Swadeshi vow." "Panchu," said I, turning to him, "you must lodge a complaint." "No one will bear me witness," he replied. "None bear witness? Sandip! Sandip!" Sandip came out of his room at my call.
At the height of our enthusiasm, Sandip laid it down that all foreign articles, together with the demon of foreign influence, must be driven out of our territory. "Of course!" said I, girding myself up for a fight. "I have had words with Nikhil about it," said Sandip. "He tells me, he does not mind speechifying, but he will not have coercion."
"Take it away, Amulya," I implored. "Put it back where you got it from." "That would be hard indeed!" "It is not hard, brother dear. It was an evil moment when you first came to me. Even Sandip has not been able to harm you as I have done." Sandip's name seemed to stab him. "Sandip!" he cried. "It was you alone who made me come to know that man for what he is.
What great mysterious purpose he is working out only the Terrible One knows meanwhile we groan under the brunt of it. Shiva is the Lord of Chaos. He is all Joy. He will destroy our bonds. I cannot but feel, again and again, that there are two persons in me. One recoils from Sandip in his terrible aspect of Chaos the other feels that very vision to be sweetly alluring.
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