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Updated: June 3, 2025
Constable! take charge of this cursing and cursed woman, who has not respect for man or magistrate. Away with her out of my presence! I commit her for a contempt. When she is in her rason, she has the greatest respect for the whole bench, and your honour above all. Oh! your honour, be plasing this once!
It's both our names, and besides it will be 'killin' two birds with one stone." "No, avourneen. Let me advise you, if you wish to prosper in life, to keep yourself out of party-work. It only stands betune you an' your business; an' it's surely wiser for you to mind your own affairs than the affairs of the nation. There's rason in everything.
So we got her to the door, and there she spying her son by ill-luck in the street, directly stretches out her' arms, and kicking my shins, plase your honour, till I could not hold her, "Murder! Randal Rooney," cries she, "and will you see your own mother murdered?" Randal. Them were the very words, I acknowledge, she used, which put me past my rason, no doubt. Phil.
* Literally the stroke of a cudgel; put for cudgel-player. "Faith, if an Irishman happened to be born in Scotland, he would find it mighty inconvanient afther losing two or three grinders in a row to manage the hard oaten bread that they use there; for which rason, God be good to his sowl that first invented the phaties, anyhow, because a man can masticate them without a tooth, at all at all.
"Is Miss Hazard in, Kitty?" "Indade she's in, Mr. Bridshaw, but she won't see nobody." "What's the meaning of that, Kitty? Here is the third time within three days you've told me I could n't see her. She saw Mr. Gridley yesterday, I know; why won't she see me to-day?" "Y' must ask Miss Myrtle what the rason is, it's none o' my business, Mr. Bridshaw. That's the order she give me."
But she might be brought to rason, father; and if she should be brought to give up that claim to the bit o' bog of yours, and when all differs betwix' the families be made up, then you would consent. Old McB. When Catty Rooney's brought to rason! Oh! go shoe the goslings, dear, ay, you'll get my consint then. There's my hand: I promise you, I'll never be called on to perform that, Honor, jewel.
Och, may God pity thim that's to come acrass it, I espishily if they dare to do it in a lie!" "They needn't, I can tell yez both," observed a third person, "be a hair afeard of it, for the best rason livin', that there's no thruth at all in the report, nor the Cassidys never thought of sindin' for anything o' the kind: I have it from Larry Cassidy's own lips, an' he ought to know best."
To a jelly without marcy he did, plase your honour, sir. Randal. Sir, plase your honour, I got rason to suspect this man to be the author of all them lies that was tould backwards and forwards to my mother, about me and Miss Honor McBride, which made my mother mad, and driv' her to raise the riot, plase your honour.
Well, plase your honour, my beast lost a shoe, which brought me late to the fair, but not so late but what it was as throng as ever; you could have walked over the heads of the men, women, and childer, a foot and a horseback, all buying and selling; so I to be sure thought no harm of doing the like; so I makes the best bargain I could of the little hanks for my wife and the girl, and the man I sold them to was just weighing them at the crane, and I standing forenent him 'Success to myself!'said I, looking at the shillings I was putting into my waistcoat pocket for my poor family, when up comes the inspector, whom I did not know, I'll take my oath, from Adam, nor couldn't know, becaase he was the deputy inspector, and had been but just made, of which I was ignorant, by this book and all the books that ever were shut and opened but no matter for that; he seizes my hanks out of the scales that I had just sold, saying they were unlawful and forfeit, becaase by his watch it was past four o'clock, which I denied to be possible, plase your honour, becaase not one, nor two, nor three, but all the town and country were selling the same as myself in broad day, only when the deputy came up they stopped, which I could not, by rason I did not know him.
"Why, then, you poor simpleton," says his Riv'rence, "don't you persave that forbye the advantage the gandher 'ud have in the length ov his neck, it 'ud be next to empossible for the turkey-cock lying thataway to see what he was about, by rason ov his djollars and other accouthrements hanging back over his eyes? The one about as big a bounce as the other!
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