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Updated: June 13, 2025
Bundy and Philpot took him home, separating from Crass and Easton at the corner of the street where both the latter lived. Crass felt very full and satisfied with himself. He had had six and a half pints of beer, and had listened to two selections on the polyphone at a total cost of one penny.
Mary thought it was rather a strange sort of job, but she did as Philpot directed and when he came for the stuff and asked how much it was she said threepence: it had only taken about half an hour. Philpot ridiculed this: it was not nearly enough. THEY were not supposed to know how long it took: it ought to be a bob at the very least.
As they were carrying it in Philpot winked at Bert and whispered: 'Did yer see Pontius Pilate anywheres outside? ''E went away on 'is bike just as I come in at the gate. 'Did 'e? Thank Gord for that! I don't wish 'im no 'arm, said Philpot, fervently, 'but I 'opes 'e gets runned over with a motor.
Young muller, couldn't steer a tub." "I'll tub you, young Pilbury, see if I don't, presently," replied Telson. "Never mind them," shouted King, "can't even make up a boat; pack of funks, all of them!" "Hullo! who are you?" cried Philpot, rounding on these new assailants. "We'd have a boat, never fear, if there was any chance of fair play."
Philpot, his wife, whose brother, Professor Conington, was then the most illustrious representative of Latin learning at Oxford. We enjoyed, under Mr. Philpot's care, the amplest domestic comforts, and we enjoyed, under our own care, almost unlimited credit at every shop in the town. We had carriages, the hire of which went down in Mr.
Philpot did not add that he had 'lent' Linden a shilling, which he never expected to see again. ''E won't be able to get a job again in a 'urry, remarked Easton. ''E's too old. 'You know, after all, you can't blame Misery for sackin' 'im, said Crass after a pause. ''E was too slow for a funeral. 'I wonder how much YOU'LL be able to do when you're as old as he is? said Owen.
As Owen, having filled his cup with tea, sat down in his usual place, Philpot rose solemnly to his feet, and, looking round the company, said: 'Genelmen, with your kind permission, as soon as the Professor 'as finished 'is dinner 'e will deliver 'is well-known lecture, entitled, "Money the Principal Cause of being 'ard up", proving as money ain't no good to nobody.
"Jolly glad you did, or we'd have missed the bust up," said Cusack. "I say, can't we try now? I know the way to do it quite well." But this proposal Philpot flatly declined to accede to, and could only appease their disappointment by promising to perform one other experiment for their benefit. This was of rather an elaborate nature.
'I've got some of the beastly stuff on my coat sleeve. 'Oh, that's nothing, sir, cried Philpot, secretly delighted. 'I'll get that orf for yer in no time. You wait just 'arf a mo! He had a piece of clean rag in his tool bag, and there was a can of turps in the room. Moistening the rag slightly with turps he carefully removed the paint from Sweater's sleeve.
"There's nothing in that empty jar," said Pilbury, laughing. "Isn't there, though?" said Philpot; "it's full." "You mean to say that jar's full of something," said Cusack. "Look here, don't you try to stuff us up. What's the use of saying it's full when it's empty?" "It's full of gas, I tell you," said Philpot. "Don't you talk till you know."
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