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Updated: June 14, 2025
'It's a dashed bad habit, Macgreegor. Dinna let it grow on ye. If naebody saved up, everybody wud be weel aff. . . . Aweel, what maun be maun be. And, groaning, Private Thomson drew forth a packet which his friend had 'stood' him the previous day. 'Regairdin' this tea pairty, he resumed, 'are ye supposed to eat a' ye can an' leave what ye canna if there's onything to leave?
"Na, he's no nae waur that I ken of."* * It is, I believe, a piece of free-masonry, or a point of conscience, among the Scottish lower orders, never to admit that a patient is doing better. The closest approach to recovery which they can be brought to allow, is, that the pairty inquired after is "Nae waur."
'I dinna ask for leave jist for to gang to a rotten pairty. 'Ay, ye've mair to dae wi' yer leave, his father was beginning, with a wink, when his mother, with something of her old asperity, said: 'Macgreegor, that's no the way to speak o' pairties that folk gi'e in yer honour.
But ye bade us begone, an' said ye'd invite us to yir pairty when ye wanted us an' the puir laddie dee'd in his faither's airms to the cruel music o' yir fiddles an' yir reels, an' his faither sat wi' him a' the nicht, croonin' wi' sorrow, an' yir graun' guests' laughter breakin' on him like a blizzard frae the north." "Is the sermon nearly done?" said Mr. Orme, with a sneer.
But since the country has been ower-run by thae Hielanders an' sodgers, they've had little peace, and the auld man has gie'n them a heap o' trouble, for he's as deaf as a post. Peter says the pairty o' dragoons is a sma' ane, so I expect the sight o' us'll scare them away an' prevent fechtin'."
At the same time, he suffered considerable anguish of mind on account of his ignorance of the 'fancy behaviour' which he deemed indispensable in the presence of a hostess whom he considered 'awfu' genteel. With reluctance, but in sheer desperation, he applied to his seldom-failing friend. 'What the blazes, he began with affected unconcern, 'dae ye dae at a tea pairty?
Soundings not think, when he has his ordinary duties to perform, but he holds the process itself in merited contempt, ye'll obsairve; and so my theory is established, by evidence of a pairty concerned; which is more than a postulate logically requires." Here Magrath dropped his book, and laughed with that sort of hissing sound that seems peculiar to the genus of which he formed a part.
What hae ye to say for yoursel's in answer to this charge?" "I deny it in toto. And I think it infamous that I should be called to answer such an insulting charge," said the viscount with a fine assumption of virtuous indignation. "And sae do I think it infamous; I agree wi' ye there, lad! But as to whilk pairty the infamy attaches to, there we may differ," said the magistrate, nodding.
"What is 't they tak haud o' to misca' them for?" asked Malcolm. "It's no sae muckle," answered Peter, "for onything they du, as for what they believe or dinna believe. There's an 'uman frae Clamrock was o' their pairty the nicht.
"At yon three Gairman spies, gaun' up a close for tae despatch some wireless telegraphy fufty roonds fire!" To which Private M'Leary, not to be outdone, responds "Public hoose in the baur back o' seeven o'clock twa drams fower fingers rapid!" From this it is a mere step to "Butt Pairty, 'shun! Forrm fourrs! Right! By your left, quick marrch!" on a bleak and cheerless morning in late October.
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