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Updated: June 10, 2025
All they want is to get home safe, with their counthry free, their honor protected an' their hats in good ordher. An' so they hammer away an' th' inimy keeps comin', an' th' varyous editions iv th' London pa-apers printed in this counthry have standin' a line iv type beginnin', 'I regret to state." "All this, Hinnissy, comes fr'm dhreamin' dhreams.
'Thank Gawd," says I, 'ye didn't have a good hand, I says, 'or I might have to call in th' wreckin' wagon. Thim Kerry men shud be made to play forty-fives with boxin'-gloves on. "I read about th' ordher, but it slipped me min' las' night. I was down at a meetin' iv th' Hugh O'Neills, an' a most intherestin' meetin' it was, Jawn.
They feel that way some mornin' in ivry month, but th' next day finds thim still glarin' at each other over th' ham an' eggs. No wife iver laves her husband while he has th' breath iv life in him, an' anny gintleman that took a thrip to Reno in ordher to saw off th' housekeepin' expinses on a rash successor wud find throuble ready f'r him whin he come back to Ar-rchey Road.
"Well, then," said Mooney, "in ordher to put you in spirits, go off, Barney, an' slip a glass o' whiskey a piece into this cordial, jist to tighten it a bit ha, ha, ha!" "Ay," said Tom Whiskey, "till we dhrink success to teetotalism, ha, ha, ha!" "Suppose you do him in the cordial," said Shannon.
I exclaimed in horror, "this is the first result of your so-called good fortune, is it? A theft; and two of your number slain! Man! do you know that the fourteen of you have committed murder!" "Murder, is it? Sorra a bit!" exclaimed the Irishman indignantly. "We thried the two of 'em, and found 'em guilty, all in regular, proper ordher."
"Ay, but Paddy Pancake's here to-day, sir, an' he's able to welt me; so that's it's only leathered I'd get, sir, i' you plase." "But have you no officers? Call in aid, I ordher you. Can't you make Sam Scaddhan and Phiddher Mackleswig there two policeman get Pancake down flatten him if he prove contumacious during my absence.
Molly's come of a dacent ould stock, and kind mother for her to keep herself in genteel ordher at all times; she sees nothing else, and can afford it, not all as one as the other flipe* that would go to the world's end for a bit of dress. * Flipe One who is "flippant" of which word it is the substantive, and a good one too.
"I think so, sir; or, if I am not, I know one that is. But I have an observation to make. You know, sir, I would a' gone abroad, a freeman before this time, only that it's necessary I should still keep on my disguise, in ordher that I may move about as I wish until I secure this Red Rapparee. After that, sir, please God, I'll taste a mouthful of freedom.
"You see," says his Riv'rence, by this time they wor mixing their third tumbler, "the writings of them Fathers is to be thrated wid great veneration; and it 'ud be the height ov presumption in any one to sit down to interpret them widout providing himself wid a genteel assortment ov the best figures of rhetoric, sich as mettonymy, hyperbol, cattychraysis, prolipsis, mettylipsis, superbaton, pollysyndreton, hustheronprotheron, prosodypeia and the like, in ordher that he may never be at a loss for shuitable sintiments when he comes to their high-flown passidges.
Sez I, 'I have twenty-five more down here in a creel in the river: that's fifty-five, sez I. 'Ye can have the lot for twinty dollars. 'It's a go, sez he; an' ever since that there's letters comin' up from Washington askin' if the wather is in good ordher, and what is the accommodations? Bedad! I'm wondherin' if them as we passed wouldn't be likin' a dozen or two on the same terms?"
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