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'What is this? I inquired. 'I thort p'raps you'd like to drink to the occashun of the 'appy 'ome-coming in a nice glarss o' stout, she explained. I noted that there were three glasses. 'Elizabeth, I said coldly, 'you are unduly familiar. I protest 'Oh, hang it all, let's be democratic, put in Henry, grinning. 'It's only your joie de vivre and natural bonhomie, isn't it, Elizabeth?

Had there bin no female wimin in the world, I should scarcely be here with my unparalleld show on this very occashun. She is good in sickness good in wellness good all the time. O woman, woman!" My female friends," I continnered, as they were indignantly departin, "wa well what A. Ward has sed!" Sum of the captings on the Upper Ohio River put on a heep of airs.

I hearn thare was to be a show up to Mr Platt's Haul on the occashun allewded to; so I took Maria An an' the children with the excepshun of the smollest wun, which, under the inflewence of tired Nachure's sweet restorer, Missis Winslow's Soothin Syrup, was rapped in barmy slumbers up to prayer meetin; and after havin excoosed myself to the pardner of my boosom, on the plee of havin swallered a boks of Bristol's Sugar-Coated Pills, I slipt out and went down to the Haul, thinkin I would have a little relaxation.

He sed my wax wurks was a humbug & called me a horey-heded itinerent vagabone. I thort at fust Ide pollish him orf ar-lar the Beneshy Boy, but on reflectin that he cood pollish me much wuss in his paper, I giv it up. & I wood here take occashun to advise peple when thay run agin, as thay sumtimes will, these miserable papers, to not pay no attenshun to um.

Sum was pretty & sum was Plane sum was helthy and sum was on the Wayne which is verses, tho sich was not my intentions, as I don't 'prove of puttin verses in Proze rittins, tho ef occashun requires I can Jerk a Poim ekal to any of them Atlantic Munthly fellers. "My wives, Mister Ward," sed Yung. "Your sarvant, marms," sed I, as I sot down in a cheer which a red-heded female brawt me.

Ef we believes we'se preshus in his sight, an' de Bible sez we is, we'll hev no occashun fer gettin discouraged, fer de dear Lord's boun ter do de best fer his loved ones. Ef we'se keepin' company wid Jesus we'se no call ter want de worl's invitashuns, an ef we'se hidden away in Christ's heart dere's no need fer us ter be frettin' about de little worriments of earth.