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Updated: June 25, 2025
"They say," began Ivan Ivanovitch, "that three kings have declared war against our Tzar." "Yes, Peter Feodorovitch told me so. What sort of war is this, and why is it?" "I cannot say exactly, Ivan Nikiforovitch, what the cause is. I suppose the kings want us to adopt the Turkish faith." "Fools! They would have it," said Ivan Nikiforovitch, raising his head.
I will tell my mother to send you a decoction of brandy, with which you need but to rub your back and stomach and all your pains will disappear." But Ivan Nikiforovitch dropped into a chair, and could utter no word beyond prolonged oh's.
"Ah! how do you do? Why do you irritate the dogs?" said Ivan Nikiforovitch, on perceiving Anton Prokofievitch; for no one spoke otherwise than jestingly with Anton Prokofievitch. "Hang them! who's been irritating them?" retorted Anton Prokofievitch. "You have!" "By Heavens, no! You are invited to dinner by Peter Feodorovitch." "Hm!" "He invited you in a more pressing manner than I can tell you.
No sooner had he uttered them than a hailstorm of reproaches, scoldings, and, possibly, even fillips were about to descend upon his head for the ill success of his mission, when all at once the door opened, and Ivan Nikiforovitch entered. If Satan himself or a corpse had appeared, it would not have caused such consternation amongst the company as Ivan Nikiforovitch's unexpected arrival created.
Orishko, why are you standing there, you stupid girl, winking at the clerks? Go, bring tea." But Ivan Nikiforovitch, in terror at having got so far from home, and at having undergone such a fearful quarantine, made haste to crawl through the door, saying, "Don't trouble yourself. It is with pleasure that I " and closed it after him, leaving all present stupefied. There was nothing to be done.
"Well, how is Ignatius Nikiforovitch?" asked Nekhludoff. "He is resting. He has not slept all night." A great deal should have been said here, but their words said nothing, and their glances said that that which interested them most was left unsaid. "I have been at your lodging." "Yes, I know it. I have moved from the house. I am so lonely and weary.
"Ah, then there were no grounds of appeal," said Ignatius Nikiforovitch, evidently sharing the well-known opinion that truth is the product of court proceedings. "The Senate cannot go into the merits of a case. But if there is really a judicial error, a petition should be made to the Emperor." "That was done, but there is no chance of success.
Behind them were speedily hung some more in the shape of the letter pi. Then came a blue Cossack jacket, which Ivan Nikiforovitch had had made twenty years before, when he was preparing to enter the militia, and allowed his moustache to grow.
Here, take a little and chew it; isn't it like tansy?" "Ivan Nikiforovitch, I want to talk about that gun; what are you going to do with it? You don't need it." "Why don't I need it? I might want to go shooting." "God be with you, Ivan Nikiforovitch! When will you go shooting? At the millennium, perhaps?
"So, you see, our Tzar has declared war on them in consequence. 'No, says he, 'do you adopt the faith of Christ!" "Oh, our people will beat them, Ivan Ivanovitch!" "They will. So you won't exchange the gun, Ivan Nikiforovitch?" "It's a strange thing to me, Ivan Ivanovitch, that you, who seem to be a man distinguished for sense, should talk such nonsense. What a fool I should be!"
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