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Updated: May 22, 2025
In a week Brit wrote a brief, matter-of-fact letter to Minnie and enclosed a much-worn ten-dollar banknote. With the two dollars and a half which remained of his share of the sale, Brit sent to a mail-order house for a mackinaw coat, and felt cheated afterwards because the coat was not "wind and water proof" as advertised in the catalogue.
Gerald Nelson told me that while he had taken a liking to this graduate student, he had never thought much of Fred's get-rich-and-famous schemes, including the one to boost his credentials via a mail-order minister's degree. "Fred once asked me what I thought of his idea for a book called The Thirteen Mystics," Nelson told me.
"Well, it all depends upon what you call very much. It's something like thirty-five thousand dollars." "Thirty-five thousand dollars! Why, man, you must be dreaming," and the capitalist turned to his telephone and called up the general manager of his mail-order business.
We want stories in this office. We don't care who or what this girl is unless there's a story in her. We're not running a job-print shop nor a mail-order business to identify strayed females. Twenty thousand posters! Bah! And say don't you know that no two men can write similar descriptions of anybody or anything?
The Dixons, he went on to explain, were of the "slum" type, only they didn't happen to live in a city. But tired and sleepy as I was that night, I got up to cold-cream my face and arms. And I'm going to write for almond-meal and glycerin from the mail-order house to-morrow.
He could remember taking out the money he had paid Lowell Hardy for the last batch of Clifford Armytage stills for Lowell, although making professional rates to Merton, still believed the artist to be worth his hire and he could remember taking some more out to send to the mail-order house in Chicago for the cowboy things; but it was plain that he had twice, at least, crowded a week's salary into the pouch and forgotten it.
A special effort should be made to have the system so arranged that it will enable the mail-order department, as well as every other department in connection with the house, to know how many orders are partly bought and holding for goods which have been ordered that are not in stock, or that require to be made.
And he never complained about the lights or the television or the hot water, except to grumble occasionally that they were a little old and out of date and that the mail-order catalog showed that better models were available in Vladivostok.
Or somehow, if depression continued, she would shut her desk, in mid-afternoon, and leave Front Office, cross the long deck which was a sort of sample room for rubber goods, and was lined with long cases of them descend a flight of stairs to the main floor, cross it and remount the stairs on the other side of the building, and enter the mail-order department.
He chuckled as he said that he would be dead in five years at the most and would have a seventy-five dollar lot for a mere song. He made us promise that when that time does come we will write up his obsequies under the head "A Mail-Order Funeral."
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