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Updated: May 9, 2025
I have been insurance agent, sold lightning-rods, and been foreman of a gang building a mill but I could not bear that. Every time I looked up I could see the Cock of Beaugard where the roof should be. And so on, so on, first one thing and then another till now till I came to Askatoon and fell down by the drug-store, and you played the good Samaritan.
And what a burden his camel carried flour-mill, saw-mill, ash- factory, farms, a general store, lime-kilns, agency for lightning-rods and insurance, cattle-dealing, the project for the new cheese-factory, and money-lending! Money-lending? It seemed strange that Jean Jacques should be able to lend money, since he himself had to borrow, and mortgage also, from time to time.
"We dreamers have a lot of agony in thinking about the things we're never going to do just as much agony as in thinking about the things we've done. Every one of us dreamers ought to be insulated. We ought to wear emotional lightning-rods to carry off the brain-waves into the ground.
It was exactly 12:00 o'clock, and I was in the middle of the sentence, "How beautiful these bells chime," when a boy motioned me to come quickly to a certain place where I could see the cylinder revolve which communicates with the peal of bells. Two points of lightning-rods crown this tower.
The other day a lightning-rod man drove up in front of a handsome edifice standing in the midst of trees and shrubs in Millburg, and spoke to Mr. Potts, who was sitting on the steps in front. He accosted Potts as the owner of the residence, and said, "I see you have no lightning-rods on this house." "No," said Potts. "Are you going to put any on?" "Well, I hadn't thought of it," replied Potts.
"Awful clap, wasn't it? You ought to've had lightning-rods on this building. Struck by lightning, wasn't I?" "You intolerable ass!" exclaimed the major as the clerks and reporters came rushing in and began to place Partridge on his legs; "it wasn't lightning. It was that infernal machine that you wanted me to put on my head.
Many intelligent people have failed to apprehend the vast difference between the low tension of voltaic electricity and frictional electricity, lightning being in the nature of the latter. The fact that when lightning strikes the telegraph-wire it jumps from the wire to the posts, often tearing in pieces half a dozen in a row, ought to be conclusive in regard to insulating lightning-rods.
For four-and-twenty hours our bristling premises were the talk and wonder of the town. The theaters languished, for their happiest scenic inventions were tame and commonplace compared with my lightning-rods. Our street was blocked night and day with spectators, and among them were many who came from the country to see.
Logic is logic, and by disregarding its laws even the most pious and showy theologian may be beguiled into preferring charges which should not be ventured upon except in the shelter of plenty of lightning-rods. I witnessed the funeral procession, in company with friends, from the windows of the Krantz, Vienna's sumptuous new hotel.
Does he not say he will not strike his spars to any gale? Has he not dashed his heavenly quadrant? and in these same perilous seas, gropes he not his way by mere dead reckoning of the error-abounding log? and in this very Typhoon, did he not swear that he would have no lightning-rods? But shall this crazed old man be tamely suffered to drag a whole ship's company down to doom with him?
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