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Recovered again with his words, I kept my seat, and wholly fix'd my eye on Habinas: He came in drunk, and lolling on his wife's shoulders, with some garlands about him, his face all trickling down with ointment, he seated himself at the head of the table, and incontinently called for wine and hot water.

"I'll tell ye," quoth Habinas, "as near as I can, for my memory is not so good, but that sometimes I forget my own name: However, for the first dish we had a goodly porker, with a garland upon him, and puddings, goose giblets, lamb-stones, sweetbreads, and gizzards round him; there were also beets and houshold-bread of his own baking, for himself, which I would rather have than white; it makes a man strong, and I never complain of what I like.

After this ratling, Habinas entreated him to give over his anger; "There's none of us all," said he, "but some time or other does amiss; we are but men, not gods." Weeping Scintilla said the same, called him Caius, and by his own good nature, besought him to be pacified.

This said, Trimalchio wept plentifully, Fortunata wept, Habinas wept, and the whole family set up a cry as it had been his funeral; nay, I also whin'd for company: when, quoth Trimalchio, "Since you know we must die, why don't we live while we may? so let me live my self to see you happy; as, if we plunge our selves in the bath we shall not repent it: At my peril be it; I'll lead the way, for this room is grown as hot as an oven."

All thanked their master for his kindness; and he, as having forgotten trifles, called for a copy of his will, which he read from one end to the other, the family all the while sighing and sobbing; afterwards turning to Habinas, "Tell me, my best of friends," said he, "do you go on with my monument as I directed ye, I earnestly entreat ye, that at the feet of my statue you carve me my little bitch, as also garlands and ointments, and all the battles I have been in, that by your kindness I may live when I am dead: Be sure too that it have an hundred feet as it fronts the highway, and as it looks towards the fields two hundred: I will also, that there be all sorts of fruit and vines round my ashes, and that in great abundance: For it is a gross mistake to furnish houses for the living, and take no care of those we are to abide in for ever: And therefore in the first place, I will have it engraven

Nor was there ever a harsher sound yet pierced my ears; for besides his disordered country tone, his pitiful and starvling way of delivery, he so stufft it with scraps of verses, that even Virgil then first disrelished me; till at last so tyr'd, that he could hold no longer; "D'ye think," said Habinas, "this boy has learn'd nothing?

"I beseech you, Habinas, for I think you was there; he told me the intrigue between my mistress and me; that I had but ill luck at friends; that no one ever made me a return of my kindnesses: That I had large possessions, but nourished a viper in my bosom: Why should I not tell you all?

On which, a spruce boy that served us with warm water, began to imitate a nightingale; till Trimalchio giving the word, a servant that waited on Habinas, set up another humour, and, as I believe, commanded by his master, nois'd out; "Mean time AEneas had put off to sea."

"Say you so," quoth Habinas, "nor am I afraid to make two days of one"; and therewith got up barefoot and follow'd Trimalchio. I on the other hand turning to Ascyltos, asked him what he thought of it, for "if I but see the bath I shall swoon away." "Let's lagg behind then," said he, "and whilst they are getting in, we'll slip off in the crowd."

Trimalchio not able to hold tears any longer, "I beg of you, Habinas," said he, "and as you wish to enjoy what you have gotten, if I have done any thing without cause, spit in my face: I kiss'd the boy 'tis true, not for his beauty, but that he's a hopeful thrifty lad: He has several sentences by heart, can read a book at first sight; saves money out of his days provision; has a binn of his own to keep it, and two drinking cups; and does he not deserve to be in my eye? but Fortunata, forsooth, will not have it so; your bandy legs won't away with it.