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Updated: May 25, 2025
You might just as well say, Gurin, because one customer busts up on you, y'understand, you would never try to sell another customer so long as you live. Now this here Mrs. Gladstein, Gurin, is a lady which while I never seen this here lady im Russland, y'understand, if you will just come out to Bridgetown with me, Gurin, I give you a guaranty Russland wouldn't figure at all."
As nearly as the torn edges of the paper would permit, Morris read the following paragraph: BRIDGETOWN, PA. D. GLADSTEIN'S STORE CLOSED. The stock and fixtures of the general store conducted here by D. Gladstein, deceased, were closed out last week, and his widow, who recently married B. Gurin, sailed from New York with her husband yesterday for Hamburg.
"They're over there," B. Gurin said, making a sweeping gesture in the general direction of the mantelpiece, and as he did so a bass voice sounded at his elbow. "Put out my eye why don't you?" cried Abe Potash, and then he recognized his assailant. "Say, what are you doing here?" he demanded. B. Gurin looked coldly at his creditor and shrugged his shoulders.
B. Gurin passed his hand through his wavy brown hair, cut semi-pompadour in the latest fashion. There was no denying B. Gurin's claims to beauty. "What is the use talking, Mr. Perlmutter?" he said, carefully examining his finger-nails. "I am sick and tired of looking at 'em. Believe me I ain't lying to you, if I looked at one I must of looked at hundreds.
"From a dead man you don't get no comebacks, and his relations is anyhow grateful; aber if you would make up a match between a couple of people like Mrs. Gladstein and B. Gurin, what is it? Even if the marriage would be a success, Mawruss, then the couple claims they was just suited to each other, Mawruss, and we don't get no credit for it anyway.
"A feller which runs a store like this one and eats his meals in restaurants, understand me, must got to get a little home cooking once in a while. Ain't it?" "Why not get married and be done with it?" Morris retorted; "and then you could get home cooking all the time." Once more Gurin shook his head. "Without love, Mr. Perlmutter, marriage is nix," he said. "Schmooes!" Morris exclaimed.
"If I told you once, Abe, in the last two days, I am telling you a dozen times, understand me, I am giving that there cold-meat tray to Mrs. Gladstein as a speculation, Abe. What difference does it make who she marries, Abe, Gurin oder Asimof, so long as we could land from her an order for five hundred dollars?" "Yow! You would land from her an order for five hundred dollars!" Abe exclaimed.
He jumped from his chair and went to the safe, from which he extracted two crisp Russian banknotes. "A hundred rubles apiece," he said, and his face beamed with pride. "So, you see, I don't got to leave Russland because I would be a Schnorrer over there." "No?" Morris replied. "Then why did you leave, Gurin? So far what I could see you ain't made it such a big success over here."
"I don't know what you are driving into, understand me, but if you think you could get brogus at me just because I am ten minutes late once in a while, y'understand, let me tell you I am catching a twelve o'clock train from Mount Vernon last night, and not alone I am talking myself blue in the face to that feller Gurin, y'understand, but when I got home already I couldn't get to sleep till I told the whole thing to my Minnie yet."
Perlmutter," he said and Morris winced "but the rest I couldn't forget at all. Day and night I see her face, Mr. Perlmutter and such a face!" Here he paused impressively. "N-nah!" he exclaimed, and kissed the tips of his fingers, while Morris glanced uneasily toward the door. "Her name was Miss Polanya and her father keeps a big flour mill in Koroleshtchevitzi, Mr. Perlmutter," Gurin went on.
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