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Updated: July 20, 2025
'Oh, says th' Cap, 'ye're th' American gazabo that owns this hut, he says. 'I am, says Willum. 'I can't go, says th' Cap. 'Ye didn't ask me here an' ye can't sind me away, he says. 'Gossoon, another shell iv malt, an' dhraw it more slow, he says. 'I am an English gintleman an' I know me rights, he says. 'Dure or window, says Willum. 'Take ye'er choice, he says.
"With that Donahue rose up. 'Come on, says he. 'This is no place f'r us, he says. Slavin, with th' politeness iv a man who's gettin' even, turns at th' dure. I'm sorry I can't remain, he says. 'I think th' wurruld an' all iv Choochooski, he says. 'Me brother used to play his chunes, he says, 'me brother Mike, that run th' grip ca-ar, he says.
The polite murmur insisted, and the Irish girl said, with finality, "Well, then, yous can go up yourselves and see; the room is right over the dure, four flights up." Cornelia jumped up and tried to pull her hair into a knot before the glass. There came a tap at her door and the voice of Charmian Maybough asked, "May I come in, Miss Saunders, Cornelia?"
We got nothing at the Washington Market, for we couldn't find it at all: I think they tuk it away to Washington. It was in the mornin' airly that we got to the city, ma'am, an' there was a koind of a carr, an' a gintleman up on the top of it, an' anuther gintleman at the dure of it, wid the dure in his hand, an' he sez, sez he, 'Git in, ladies, sez he.
"I am more and more convinced, the longer I know you, Tom, that we are descended from Giles Corey. The gift of holding one's tongue seems to have skipped me, but you have it in full force. I can't say just how you would behave under peine forte et dure, but under ordinary pressure you are certainly able to keep your own counsel. Why didn't you mention this encounter at dinner?
"When Bridget came and saw the pillow-case squirming and bumping around, she said, 'Shure, ma'am, an' it's bewitched them furs is, and I'd not be afther touching 'em wid a tin-fut pole. I'll run call the gard'ner next dure. So she put her head out at the attic window and screamed for Dennis, and Dennis thought the house was on fire, and came running up the stairs two steps at a time.
What shall we do with thim? "We haven't anny," said Mr. Hennessy. "No," said Mr. Dooley. "Ar-rchey r-road has no servant girl problem. Th' rule is ivry woman her own cook an' ivry man his own futman, an' be th' same token we have no poly-gamy problem an' no open dure problem an' no Ph'lippeen problem.
'Why, he says, 'yes, he says; 'I've subscribed wan thousand dollars, he says, 'to th' citizen's comity, he says, 'f'r to prosecute him; an', he says, 'gintlemen, he says, 'there's th' dure. "I seen Cassidy that night, an' he was as white as a ghost.
'Th' protection iv th' home hobo again th' pauper can trade iv Europe, he says, 'has been wan iv th' principal wurruks iv me life, he says; an' he gives thim each a hand out, an' bows thim to th' dure. "In comes a dillygation fr'm th' Union iv Amalgamated Pantsmakers; an' says th' chairman, 'Major, he says, 'we have a complaint to make again thim pants iv ye'ers, he says.
But when the peine forte et dure is over, the antique sincerity of the venerable sufferer always reasserts itself. Genesis is honest to the core, and professes to be no more than it is, a repository of venerable traditions of unknown origin, claiming no scientific authority and possessing none.
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