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Two rooms away, a large mound of chamber-pots formed an astonishing background, and against all this white and grey effacement the men who stood on high ladders dusting the crockery came out like strange black climbing insects.

They eat and drink out of vessels of earth, or glass, which make an agreeable appearance though formed of brittle materials: while they make their chamber-pots and close-stools of gold and silver; and that not only in their public halls, but in their private houses: of the same metals they likewise make chains and fetters for their slaves; to some of which, as a badge of infamy, they hang an ear-ring of gold, and make others wear a chain or a coronet of the same metal; and thus they take care, by all possible means, to render gold and silver of no esteem.

And yet much more ridiculous is Apollo, if he sits to give oracles concerning golden fringes and chamber-pots and the recovering of a stumble. But they make this repugnancy yet more evident by their demonstration.

First, Had the matter been taken into consideration, before the event happened, my father certainly would have nailed up the sash window for good an' all; which, considering with what difficulty he composed books, he might have done with ten times less trouble, than he could have wrote the chapter: this argument I foresee holds good against his writing a chapter, even after the event; but 'tis obviated under the second reason, which I have the honour to offer to the world in support of my opinion, that my father did not write the chapter upon sash-windows and chamber-pots, at the time supposed, and it is this.

Letters are a treasure, and a trade never dies." Thus, or the like, we were bandying it about when Trimalchio return'd, and having wip'd the slops from his face, wash'd his hands, and in a very little time, "Pardon me, my friends," said he, "I have been costive for several days, and my physicians were to seek about it, when a suppository of pomegranate wine, with the liquor of a pine-tree and vinegar relieved me; and now I hope my belly may be ashamed if it keep no better order; for otherwise I have such a rumbling in my guts, you'd think an ox bellowed; and therefore if any of you has a mind, he need not blush for the matter; there's not one of us born without some defect or other, and I think no torment greater than wanting the benefit of going to stool, which is the only thing even Jupiter himself cannot prevent: And do you laugh, Fortunata, you that break me so often of my sleep by nights; I never denyed any man do that in my room might pleasure himself, and physicians will not allow us to keep any thing in our bodies longer than we needs must; or if ye have any farther occasion, every thing is ready in the next room: Water, chamber-pots, close-stools, or whatever else ye may need; believe me, this being hard-bound, if it get into the head, disturbs the whole body; I have known many a man lost by it, when they have been so modest to themselves as not to tell what they ailed."

They eat and drink out of vessels of earth or glass, which make an agreeable appearance, though formed of brittle materials; while they make their chamber-pots and close- stools of gold and silver, and that not only in their public halls but in their private houses.

It was there that the traditional sports of the road began. A drag, with a band of exquisites armed with pea-shooters, peppering on costers who were getting angry, and threatening to drive over the leaders. A brake with two poles erected, and hanging on a string quite a line of miniature chamber-pots. A horse, with his fore-legs clothed in a pair of lady's drawers.

Does not all the world know, said the curate d'Estella at the conclusion of his work, that Noses ran the same fate some centuries ago in most parts of Europe, which Whiskers have now done in the kingdom of Navarre? The evil indeed spread no farther then but have not beds and bolsters, and night-caps and chamber-pots stood upon the brink of destruction ever since?

And Jupiter would be very ridiculous to be styled Ctesius, Epicarpius, and Charitodotes, because forsooth he gives the wicked golden chamber-pots and golden fringes, and the good such things as are hardly worth a groat, when through Jupiter's providence they become rich.

Pallet was too much incensed to be intimidated by this threat, which he retorted with great virulence, defying him to come forth, that it might appear which of them was best skilled in that pedestrian exercise, which he immediately began to practise against the door with such thundering application, as reached the ears of Pickle and his governor, who coming out into the passage, and seeing him thus employed, asked if he had forgot the chamber-pots of Alost, that he ventured to behave in such a manner as entitled him to a second prescription of the same nature.