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Updated: May 24, 2025
'Eavens and earth a winder ow? Where? Wot for?" "Say, mister," said Spike, breaking in upon Mr. Brimberly's astounded questioning, "is he nutty?" And he jerked his thumb toward the door through which Mr. Ravenslee had gone. "Nutty!" said Mr. Brimberly, staring. "Yes I mean is he batty? Has he got wheels?" "W'eels?" said Mr. Brimberly, his eyes rounder than usual.
In the writing of books, as all the world knows, two things are above all other things essential the one is to know exactly when and where to leave off, and the other to be equally certain when and where to begin. Now this book, naturally enough, begins with Mr. Brimberly's whiskers; begins at that moment when he coughed and pulled down his waistcoat for the first time.
Brimberly's master's cigars, "I say let joy and 'armony be unconfined! How about Jenkins and 'is banjer?" "I'll call 'im up immediate!" nodded Mr. Brimberly, rising. "Mr. Jenkins is a true hartist, equally facetious and soulful, sir!" So saying, Mr. Brimberly arose and crossed toward the telephone.
"Object, sir," murmured Mr. Brimberly, "found, sir to be sure, sir." "Yes; I intend you shall find it for me, Brimberly." Mr. Brimberly's abstraction gave place to sudden amaze. "Find it wot, me, sir? Hexcuse me, sir, but did you say " Mr. Brimberly actually gaped! "You, Brimberly, of course!" "But but wot kind of a hobject and where, sir?"
Brimberly's whiskers showed immediate signs of extreme agitation, and he started to his feet. "Mr. Ravenslee, sir for the love o' Gawd!" he exclaimed, "if it's a choice between the two try matrimony first, it's so much so much wholesomer, sir!" "Is it, Brimberly? Let's hear no more of matrimony." "Certingly not, sir!" bowed Mr. Brimberly.
"Little girl, come 'ere!" he repeated. "Come up 'ere and come immediate!" The small crutch tapped laboriously up the steps, and she stood before Mr. Brimberly's imposing figure mute, breathless, and trembling a little. "Little girl," he demanded, threatening of whisker, "'oo are you and what?" "Please, I'm Hazel." "Oh, indeed," nodded Mr. Brimberly, pulling at his waistcoat.
Brimberly's mouth opened, and eventually Mr. Brimberly rose and surveyed the intruder slowly, up from glittering shoes to the dome of his head and down again; and Mr. Brimberly's ample bosom surged, his eye kindled, and his whiskers ! "Cheer-o!" nodded the Old Un. Mr. Brimberly blinked and pulled down his waistcoat. "Me good man," said he, "you'll find the tradesmen's entrance round the corner.
Brimberly's whiskers were all things to all men, and therein lay their potency. Mr. Brimberly then, pompous, affable, and most sedate, having motioned his visitor into his master's favourite chair, set down the tray of decanters and glasses upon the piano, coughed, and pulled down his waistcoat; and Mr.
"Why, yes," said Young R., glancing up at him, and beneath the quizzical look in those sleepy grey eyes, Mr. Brimberly's whiskers wilted slightly. "You're getting a trifle too er portly to hop round on your knees, aren't you, Brimberly? Pray sit down and talk to me." Mr. Brimberly bowed and took a chair, sitting very upright and attentive while his master frowned into the fire.
"Because he has become a habit, Spike and habits cling and speaking of habits here it is!" Sure enough, at that moment Brimberly's knuckles made themselves discreetly heard, and Brimberly himself appeared with divers garments across his arm, at sight of which Spike stood immediately dumb in staring, awe-struck wonder. "Ah, you've got them, Brimberly?" "Yessir! These is the best I can do, sir "
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