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Updated: May 20, 2025
Heaven pity us both, for we are saying what should wait to be said, and have talked of love only while vowing not to do so!... Let loose my hand, Euan that somehow has stolen into yours. Ai-me! This is a very maze I seem to travel in, with every pitfall hiding all I would avoid, and everywhere ambush laid for me.... Listen, dear lad, I am more pitifully at your mercy than I dreamed of.
But at times it seems to be still in my bones deep bitten to the very marrow. Ai-me! I have seen two years of centuries. Their scars remain." She rocked slightly forward and backward where she sat, her fingers interlaced, twisting and clenching with her memories. "Ai-me! Hunger and cold and men! Hunger and men. But it was solitude that nigh undid me. That was the worst of all the endless silence."
And the next instant we both were laughing there, she still in tears, I with blithe heart to see her now surrender at discretion, with her grey eyes smiling at me through a starry mist of tears, and the sweet mouth tremulous with her low-voiced thanks. "Ai-me!" she said. "What manner of boy is this, to hector me and have his will?
But my heart is very full " She hesitated, then stretched forth her hand to me, smiling; and as I touched it ceremoniously with finger-tip and lip: "Ai-me!" she exclaimed, withdrawing under shelter. "It is raining, Euan! Your rifle-shirt is wet already, and you are like to take a chill! Come under shelter instantly!" "Fancy a man of Morgan's with a chill!"
"Because all my solicitude was for you, and how it might disgrace you." "I could have knelt there at your ragged feet, in sight of all the fort!" "Could you truly, Euan?" "As willingly as I kneel at prayer!" "How dear and gallant and sweet you are to me " She broke off in dismay. "Ai-me!
"More fully than " "Then be content," she said hastily, "and pull me no more lugubrious faces to fright me. Lord! What a vexing paradox is this young man who sits and glowers and gnaws his lips in the very moment of his victory, while I, his victim, tranquil and happy in defeat, sit calmly telling my thoughts like holy beads to salve my new-born soul. Ai-me!
"Yet, in one sense I was not alone, Euan, for I was fanciful; and roamed accompanied by those bright visions that unawakened souls conjure for company; companioned by all creatures of the mind, from saint to devil. Ai-me! For there were moments when I would have welcomed devils, so that they rid me of my solitude, at hell's own price!"
Then as I stood silent, I felt her little hands groping on my arm; and my own closed on them and I laid my lips to them. "Ai-me!" she said softly. "Why do we fight and fret each other? Why do I, who adore you so, let you vex me and stir me to say what I do not mean at all.
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