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Updated: June 26, 2025
You What Is Its air on the pint of smashin up the gratest Guv'ment ever erected by man, & you actooally hav the owdassity to larf about it. Go home, you low cuss!" I was workt up to a high pitch, & I proceeded to a Restorator & cooled orf with some little fishes biled in ile I b'leeve thay call 'em sardeens. Feller Sitterzuns, the Afrikan may be Our Brother.
"Hows'ever," continued Ben, "I took so kindly to His Majesty's service that they almost look upon me as an old hand, an' actooally gave me leave to be the leader o' the gang that was sent to Fairway to take you, so that I might have a chance o' sayin' adoo to my old mother."
But as I gets to the door I hears a noise I don't savey; an' when I Injuns up to a crack an' surveys the scene, I'm a coyote if thar ain't 'Doby, with his wife in his lap, singin' to her. That's squar'; actooally singin'; which sech efforts reminds me of ballards by cinnamon b'ars.
"'You jest thinks you don't like beans, says Dave, an' with that he sorter dictates at the tenderfoot with his gun, an' the tenderfoot thar-upon lays for his frijoles like he's actooally honin' tharfor. "'Which it all shows Dave's got a good heart, says Missis Rucker to Tucson Jennie.
"This ontoward an' onmerited rebuke to Boggs is followed, by further breaks as hard to savey. Dave ain't no two days alike. One time he's that haughty he actooally passes Enright himse'f in the street an' no more heed or recognition than if Wolfville's chief is the last Mexican to come no'th of the line.
I was only gettin orf a goak, but you roter hev seen the Old Kurnal jump up & howl. He actooally fomed at the mowth. "This can't be real," he showtid. "No, no. It's a horrid dream. Sir, you air not a human bein you hav no existents yure a Myth!" "Wall," sez I, "old hoss, yule find me a ruther onkomfortable Myth ef you punch my inards in that way agin."
They gets a new religion same as you-all gets a new hat, an' they changes their names like some folks does their shirt. Which they're that loose an' liable about churches an' cognomens! "As for money, take this boy Tom. He actooally transacts his life on the theery that he has prior claims on every splinter of my bank- roll.
"'Whatever be these y ere broncos doin' yere? says Dave, for we allows, the first dash outen the box, mebby the Britons makes a purchase. "One of the towerists tells a long an' delighted story about the gen'rosity of the Injuns. "'Actooally, says this towerist,"them gen'rous savages leads up these yere nine ponies an' donates 'em.
They say he actooally sent an invite to the Widder Wade," remarked another lounger. "Gosh! he's got cheek!" And, after all, it's the women folk that has the say about it. Why, there's old Miss Ford sez she hasn't kicked a fut sence she left Mizoori, but wouldn't mind trying it agin.
About midnight a half dozen of the bucks comes scoutin' 'round their camp, allowin' to a moral certainty they'll see what's loose an' little enough for 'em to pull. The aborigines makes the error of goin' up the wind from Moon's mules, which is grazin' about with hobbles on, an' them sagacious anamiles actooally has fits.
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