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Updated: June 12, 2025
"'His Supreme Importance, the Grand Panjandrum, has had the toothache for three days, and I have been unable to subdue it without drawing the tooth, which His Supreme Importance refuses to permit me to do, and in a fit of temper yesterday he said that if he were not better to-day I should be executed to-morrow and it's worse. "The Chief Cook looked at me delightedly.
The poor bird called out the names one by one, and the Ambassador carefully entered them in his pocket-book, and then stalked majestically away in the direction of the lake, while the Little Panjandrum settled himself on a gaudily-colored rug, which the black attendant carefully spread on the ground at his feet, and with a self-satisfied smile on his little round face gravely twiddled his thumbs and took no notice of anybody.
Now, I was seized with a great desire to see the illustrious Panjandrum for myself, and to know what he had to say of that wonderful bag of gold that was to be found at the place where the rainbow touched the ground. And so I fell to work with the happy boys and girls, looking for a one-eyed beetle and a four-leaved clover.
"Was it to create an impression amongst such creatures as these that you ran off with the very best pair of white kid gloves in the whole collection belonging to His Importance the Little Panjandrum? Oh, Dodo! Dodo! Dodo! it is too much!" "How much too much?" inquired the Palæotherium, kindly taking out his purse. The Court Glover waved him aside with an impatient scowl.
"The little Panjandrum," was the reply; "you are pretty sure to meet him sooner or later." "Oh, we're going to see the Pan jan de lum," announced Fidge, capering about in glee. "Hooray!" In the meantime the table had drifted on till the house was quite out of sight, and had reached the base of the cliffs, where the smugglers' cave was.
All the time I was afraid the Panjandrum Himself would quit turning or that his little round button-at-the-top would blow off before I could get out. And just as I thrust the last boy up the spout the wheels began to slacken. "Quick," cried the Garuly, "the Great Pan has let go of the machine. Your last chance for to-day is to get through on the headway."
And he turned to the Little Panjandrum and entered into a lengthy conversation with him in their native language, which the children could not understand in the least. The Little Panjandrum seemed greatly distressed at the disaster which had befallen the Dodo, and, it appeared, insisted upon a monument being erected to his memory.
"I absolutely decline to know creatures with names like those. I'm sure they are not respectable, and I'm not at all sure, even now, that they are not dangerous; however, I shall know how to deal with them presently. The penalty for alarming the Little Panjandrum is a very severe one."
The Little Panjandrum beamed approval, and calling together his suite, the Black Attendant once more raised the State Umbrella over His Importance's head, and the tom-tom and Jew's harp began their strange music, while the Ambassador took a hurried leave of the children, and the cortège passed out of sight.
This is what the Panjandrum said, and we never could tell who "she" was, nor, indeed, whom he meant by the barber. "Pickaninnies, open the wonderful Pantoscopticon, and let them see." The wonderful Pantoscopticon was brought out, and we were allowed to look in it. There were holes enough for us all to see, and we beheld several rainbows in one sky.
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