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"I think we may take it for granted," I said, "that the Puffin is the man who sets the paper in astronomy." The Archdeacon left me abruptly, without shaking hands. I lit a cigarette and thought with pleasure of the careful and sympathetic way in which he would break the sad news of my failing to Lord Thormanby. When I reached the club I despatched four telegrams. The first was to Titherington.
My mother is the sister of the present Lord Thormanby, a fact which by itself predisposes the Archdeacon in my favour. My father was a distinguished soldier. My grandfather was a still more distinguished soldier, and there are pictures of his most successful battle hanging in my dining-room. The Archdeacon has often seen them and I am sure appreciates them.
I was anxious, if possible, to persuade Lalage to drop the idea of marrying the Archdeacon to Miss Battersby. "Remember your promise to my mother," I said. "I've kept it. I submitted the matter to Lord Thormanby just as I said I would. If he won't act I can't help it." "The Archdeacon will be frightfully angry." Lalage sniffed slightly.
He wouldn't do it. Simply loathes the name of Torrington. Besides, I don't suppose Thormanby is the kind of man he wants to meet. He'd probably rather hear Brannigan or some one of that sort talking damned Nationalism. But I can't ask Brannigan, really can't, you know, Frank. I might have O'Hara, that's the doctor. I don't suppose my sister would mind now.
He might think, just at first, that I wasn't quite myself if I went to him with a suggestion of that sort." "There'd be some excuse for him if he did," said Thormanby. "Whereas, if you, who have always been strictly temperate " "I didn't send for you," said Thormanby, "to stand there talking like a born fool. What I want you to do " He paused and blew his nose with some violence. "Yes?" I said.
Stay and talk to me about Lalage and the hardness of the world." "If he doesn't want me," she said, "I ought to settle the flowers." It really is a pity that Thormanby will not persuade the Archdeacon to marry Miss Battersby. Besides being sweet and lovable, as Lalage pointed out, she has a strong sense of duty which would be quite invaluable in the diocese.
"Safe? Safe? What do you mean?" "When I saw you poking at it with that paper knife I thought it might be poisoned." Thormanby growled and I took up the letter. Lalage has a courteous but perfectly lucid style. I read: "Dear Lord Thormanby, as a member of the Diocesan Synod you are, I feel sure, quite as anxious as I am that only a really suitable man should be elected bishop.
"It depends on what the point is." "She's extraordinarily ingenious," I said. "Perhaps I'd better go over to Thormanby Park and see." "Finish your breakfast," said my mother. "I'll order the trap for you." I arrived at Thormanby Park shortly after ten o'clock. The door was opened to me by Miss Battersby.
It upsets us all. I wonder what the devil he's coming here for?" "I don't know," said Frank. "Could he be studying the Irish question? Isn't there some Home Rule Bill or something? Father said next year would be an Irish year." "That's it. That must be it. Now I wonder who he expects me to have to dinner to meet him. There's no use my wiring to Thormanby to come over for the night.
The letter, when I did read it, turned out to be quite as hysterical as the manner of its arrival. Thormanby summoned me to his presence there is no other way of describing the style in which he wrote and ordered me to start immediately. "I can't imagine what has gone wrong," I said. "Do you think that Miss Battersby can have gone suddenly mad and assaulted one of the girls with a battle axe?"
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