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I had lived through it all as in a kind of waking dream. But in the worship-chamber of my heart I had built an altar, and on it was placed the first and only love of my life. The fire which glowed there was as pure as Easter dawn, yet it was as intense as the still white heat you may see in a furnace. And the time was coming when she would go away.
It is hardly likely that the lightning should strike that particular tree, just while you are under it." "But if you should chance to find me a cinder, when you thought it time for me to be waking, Ailwin would not that be as bad as my having the fever?" "Oliver! How can you talk so? How dare you think of such a shocking thing?" "You put it into my head, Ailwin.
You see the great injustice clearly as I do; but you all men have tried to right it by themselves, in their way, while all women, through all the ages, have stood aside and tried to think they were doing God's will when they accepted your best; your half best! Now, oh! now something I think it is God calling loud to them is waking them up.
Yet, had you not frustrated all frank intercourse with her, I might have taken refusal from her own lips, survived that grief, and now been a happy man. Years since then have rolled away, rolled over her quiet slumbers, and my restless waking life. All this time were you aware that Audley Egerton had been the lover of Leonora Avenel?"
This instinct, given widest scope in these weeks of helplessness, developed faster than any other in him, until in the end, he could judge Jolly Roger's humor by the sound of his approaching footsteps. Never was there a waking hour in which he was not fighting to comprehend the mystery of the change that had come over his life.
Thus this part of man was given its form by the spiritual sounds of the universe; and at the same time the alternation between the clearer state of consciousness during the Sun period, and the duller one, was not so abrupt as was that between the waking state and that of absolutely dreamless sleep in contemporary man.
The rooms in which he imagined her as moving were always splendid; the gowns she wore were of rustling silk. He never in any dream, waking or sleeping, associated her with poverty or sorrow or pain. Gay and beautiful, she moved from city to city, in these visions of David's, looking always at wonderful things, and finding laughter in every happening.
He watched her till the day came, and the noises of the waking life around them called her back to the consciousness of her anxiety. The loss of relatives and friends was one of the following features of the great disaster.
Ralph put back the masses of brown hair from Lina's face, and began to bathe it gently, almost holding his breath, as if she were a babe he was afraid of waking. "Isn't she a dear, generous creature?" he said, at last, with a burst of admiration. "It took a fright like this, to prove how precious she was to us all!"
His first waking knowledge was of his friend's asking him the question, 'Are you going to apply for that living? He had his 'No! ready from that last night. 'I'm glad, his friend said. "Fly our paths, our feverish contact fly!" I'd like you to take my advice and be happy yes, and useful as well as youthful. 'All right, smiled Hood from his pillow. 'I mean sailing next month.
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