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"No, he said that after I had heard the news from you, he would leave everything to me." "Oh!" "But, father, I don't think you have been fair. Tom is right. I don't chew gum, do I?" "Well " He was indignant. Then he stopped thoughtfully. "No." "But Mary downstairs does. She wouldn't be offended at 'Lulu Tulu. I dare say she'd think it 'just grand." He returned no answer.
Orders for the great specialty of K. & H. "Old Tulu" had fallen. Something had to be done. Houghton, now senior partner, had proposed, and young Kaufmann agreed, that an advertising expert be secured. But the agreement ended there.
Brainard hesitated. "Well, it seemed to me that Pepper is trying to do two things that are antagonistic: be 'élite' and sell chewing-gum. The fact is that élite people don't chew gum. I'd like to know how the statement, 'Old Tulu Best by Test, will make a kid on the corner with a cent in his fist have an attack of mouth-watering." Kaufmann roused himself. "It is true. Our gum is the best."
"Well, nobody wants 'Old Tulu. They want 'New Tulu' or 'Fresh Tasty Tulu. At least, something to appeal to the imagination of Sadie-at-the-ribbon-counter." "Oh!" observed Houghton. "And the name you suggest?" "Well, say something like 'Lulu Tulu." "Gott!" Kaufmann struck the desk a blow with his fist. It was an insult to his father's memory. Brainard rose.
"It's called," he went on, "My Lulu Tulu Girl. All the grinders have it. Billy Tompkins, Noughty-three, who lives in the Jones Street social settlement, worked that for me. Those dagoes worship him saved a kid's life or something." A light came into John Houghton's eyes. "That's part of the scheme. Aspwell wrote the song. I found him down in bohemia working on an opera.
Then I got Professor Wheaton 'Jimmy the Grind' we used to call him his folks wanted him to be a poet imagine Jimmy a poet! I got Professor Wheaton to give us some readers on 'Tulu as a Salivary Stimulant, 'The Healthful Effect of Pure Saliva on Food Products' and 'The Degenerative Effect of Artificially Relieving an Organ of its Proper Functions. That hits the Pepsin people, you see "
Never a word of English, mind you! She'd just wave the fan to the entrance and inner glories where Tulu Garrat, Tony's wife, would read palms, or the crystal ball, and take the money." Davy, too, was getting a bit anxious. He was running out of details. He glanced at the phone, hoping for relief. None came. He rambled on.
As John Houghton was driven home that night, he became suddenly conscious that he would soon meet the apparition of the afternoon in the flesh. And though, of course, there was no need, he found himself rehearsing the justification of his position. "Lulu Tulu" indeed! Imagine the smile that would have illumined the faces at the club on such an announcement.
Tulu Krish, the well-known New-Zealander, whose admirable speculations on the ruins of St. Paul as seen from London Bridge have won for him the attentive consideration of the scientific world, fixes the occurrence in A. D. 1880.
But, for the sake of old days in the senior extravaganza, he turned off 'My Lulu Tulu Girl. You know those orders on your desk are for our new brand, 'Lulu Tulu. The song was introduced two weeks ago at the Metropolitan Roof by Violette, a young lady who married our old football trainer, Little Sullivan. We'll hear her later I have tickets. Then " "Tom!"
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