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Updated: September 1, 2025
On the other hand, had you asked Malachi about some young aristocrat who had forgotten to count his toddies the night before, that Defender of the Faith would have replied: "Lawd bress ye!
"Oh, very severe!" chimed in the patient himself; then suddenly altering his voice, "Drinking hot rum toddies with me every night, till he couldn't see to put on the bandages; and sending me to bed, half seas over, about three o'clock in the morning. Oh, ye stars! he sat up with me indeed, and was very severe in my diet. Oh! a great watcher, and very dietetically severe, is Dr. Bunger.
"They called them 'Tods' and 'Toddies, but they had all sorts of names besides, to distinguish one from the other. There was, 'Whity, and 'Browny, and 'Softy, and 'Snuggy, and 'Stripy, and many others. They knew almost every hair of each of them, and I believe could have told which was which, in the dark, merely by their feel.
But the girl laughed merrily. "You touched the alarm, father." "I rather believe I did. And a few minutes before you came in with the toddies I tried it and it didn't work." It took some time to quiet the servants; and when that was done Fitzgerald determined to go down to the village. "Good night, Mr. Fitzgerald," said the girl. "Better beware; this house is haunted."
On the particular trip I have in mind, Cloudesley and Toddy came along. This was Toddy's first trip. On previous trips Cloudesley had elected to drink beer; so I had kept the yacht supplied with beer and had drunk beer with him. But on this cruise the situation was different. Toddy was so nicknamed because of his diabolical cleverness in concocting toddies.
So I rode off to the neighbors and gave them the tale, and bade them come after nightfall as though to hang Campbell's thief, which they did, and they were near to smashing the door trying to get in the cabin. Tom told them the rascal had escaped, but they must needs come in and have jigs and toddies until midnight.
The purser's steward was called to account, and no more lavender punches and Cologne toddies were drank on board the Neversink. It was about the period of the Cologne-water excitement that my self-conceit was not a little wounded, and my sense of delicacy altogether shocked, by a polite hint received from the cook of the mess to which I happened to belong.
What a shock, for instance, would the most punctilious man of his time have received when he found his front basement rented for a law office, to say nothing of a disreputable tin sign nailed to a shutter where in the olden time he and his cronies had toasted their shins before blazing logs, the toddies kept hot on the hearth!
In his old age, when he was dog-poor, he lived on charity, only it was not known by that word, which is at once the sweetest and bitterest word in our tongue; for Brother Jackman, always primped, always plump and well clad, would go through the market to take his pick of what was there, and to the Richland House bar for his toddies, and to Felsburg Brothers for new garments when his old ones wore shabby and yet never paid a cent for anything; a kindly conspiracy on the part of the whole town enabling him to maintain his self-respect to the last.
I don't exaggerate none when I asserts that the moment our village gets its eye on these three-sheets it comes to a dead halt. "'Old Squar' Alexanders is the war chief of the hamlet, an' him an' the two other selectmen c'llects themse'fs over their toddies an' canvasses whether they permits this wizard to give his fiendish exhibitions in our midst.
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