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Nothing all day save these, and nothing all the sleepless night save a desert wolf stealing down the sands. Macnamara's eyes burned in his head with weariness, his body became numb, but Mahommed Mahmoud would allow no pause. They must get so far ahead the first two days that Abdullah's pursuers might not overtake them, he said.
The night abrupt, impenetrable and all-filling with its flood of darkness; the night cool and merciful; the blind night that saw nothing, but could hear the fretful whimpering of the child, the creak of the bedstead, Joanna's deep sighs as she turned over, sleepless, in the confused conviction of her wickedness, thinking of that man masterful, fair-headed, and strong a man hard perhaps, but her husband; her clever and handsome husband to whom she had acted so cruelly on the advice of bad people, if her own people; and of her poor, dear, deceived mother.
I am fighting that black passion which makes of me a sleepless watcher and thinker. If this war only lets me live long enough to understand its meaning! Perhaps that meaning will be the meaning of life, in which case I am longing for the unattainable. But underneath it all must be a colossal movement of evolution, of spiritual growth or of retrogression. Who knows?
The birth, the agony, the hideous agonies, that last moment...then the nursing, the sleepless nights, the fearful pains...." Darya Alexandrovna shuddered at the mere recollection of the pain from sore breasts which she had suffered with almost every child. And on the top of it all, the death of these children."
Thus all these things happened. I suspected it when I heard that she had succumbed to death, which I yes, I here had held back from her with severe toil through many a sleepless night. O these demons! They will continue to act in the service of the dead. Wherever I may go, they will pursue me and, at their mistress's bidding, baffle what I hope and desire. I have learned this only too distinctly!"
One night, when she wakened to find him staring sleepless at the ceiling, the thought struck her that, after all, she knew nothing of his particular problems, and if they were partners in the business of living why shouldn't she be an intelligent member of the firm, even if only a silent one?
Mother! who hast watched our pillow In thy tender, sleepless love, Lo, we dare the crosted billow; Mother, put thy trust above. Father! from thy guidance turning, O'er the deep our way we take; Keep the prayerful incense burning On thine altar, for our sake. Brothers! sisters! more than ever Are our fond affections twined, As that hallowed bond we sever Which the hand of Nature joined.
O Bharata, reflecting day and night on this, I am unhappy and sleepless, through anxiety for the welfare of the Kurus. A terrible destruction is about to overtake the Kurus, if there is nothing but peace for ending this quarrel. I am for peace with the Parthas and not for war. O child, I always deem the Pandavas mightier than the Kurus.""
Uncertainty is the worst of all evils, because everything may be apprehended. Deprived entirely of all news for eight days, there was no possible catastrophe he did not fancy floating over his head. He had the haughty courage to conceal from Madame de Campvallon the event that had occurred in his house, and to leave her undisturbed while he himself was sleepless for many nights.
In his strange situation, spending days in childish games with a young girl who aroused in him nothing more than the bland sense of fraternal comradeship, and nights in sad and sleepless recollection, the one thing that pleased him was intimacy with his mother. Peace had been restored to the home.
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