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Updated: May 29, 2025
The Semi-drunk was in high glee, for Crass was not much of a hand at this game, and the Besotted Wretch, although playing well, was not able to make up for his partner's want of skill.
The man who from time to time sounded the coachman's horn might have passed as the angel sounding the last trump, and the fumes of the cigars were typical of the smoke of their torment, which ascendeth up for ever and ever. A brief halt was made at the Cross Roads to pick up several of the men, including Philpot, Harlow, Easton, Ned Dawson, Sawkins, Bill Bates and the Semi-drunk.
His case appeared hopeless, but his opponent in his next innings seemed to go all to pieces. Twice he missed the board altogether, and when he did hit it he failed to score, until the very last throw, when he made 1. Then the Semi-drunk went in again and got 10. The scores were now: Besotted Wretch ........................ 42 Semi-drunk ............................. 31
In the coach presided over by Crass, Bill Bates, the Semi-drunk and the other two or three habitual boozers were all men who had been driven mad by their environment.
Everyone asked for 'the same again, but the landlord served Easton, Bundy and the Besotted Wretch with pints instead of half-pints as before, so there was no change out of the shilling. 'You know, there's a great deal in not bein' used to the board, said the Semi-drunk. 'There's no disgrace in bein' beat by a man like 'im, mate, said Philpot. ''E's a champion!
Crass and the others through the window watched him assist the Semi-drunk to his feet and rub some of the dirt off his clothes, and presently after some argument they saw the two go away together arm in arm. Crass and the others laughed, and returned to their half-finished drinks. 'Why, old Joe ain't drunk 'ardly 'arf of 'is! cried Easton, seeing Philpot's porter on the counter.
As for the smell, he did not care about that; he did not have to inhale the fumes himself. It was just about this time that Crass, after due consultation with several of the others, including Philpot, Harlow, Bundy, Slyme, Easton and the Semi-drunk, decided to call a meeting of the hands for the purpose of considering the advisability of holding the usual Beano later on in the summer.
The wagonette containing Rushton and his friends continued to fly over the road, pursued by the one in which rode Crass, Bill Bates, and the Semi-drunk; but notwithstanding all the efforts of the drunken driver, they were unable to overtake or pass the smaller vehicle, and when they reached the foot of the hill that led up to Windley the distance between the two carriages rapidly increased, and the race was reluctantly abandoned.
'I suppose, said Misery, regarding the owner of the strychnine with a sneer, 'I suppose you're one of them there hired critics wot's goin' about the country doin' the Devil's work? 'Wot I wants to know is this 'ere, said the Semi-drunk, suddenly advancing into the middle of the ring and speaking in a loud voice. 'Where did Cain get 'is wife from?
But the Semi-drunk and the Besotted Wretch were reminded by this trick of several others equally good, and they proceeded to do them; and then the men had another pint each all round as a reviver after the mental strain of the last few minutes. Easton did not know any tricks himself, but he was an interested spectator of those done by several others until Ruth came over and touched his arm.
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