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It was a one-sided affair from the first, for Easton and the Semi-drunk were no match for the other two. The end of it was that Easton and his partner had to pay for the drinks. The four men had a pint each of four ale, and Mrs Crass had another threepennyworth of gin.
While the Semi-drunk was having his next innings, the Besotted Wretch placed a penny on the counter and called for a half a pint, which he drank in the hope of steadying his nerves for a great effort.
When they got back to the job they found the 'coddy' in the kitchen, looking for them and he began to talk and grumble, but the Semi-drunk soon shut him up: he told him he could either have a drink out of one of the bottles or a punch in the bloody nose whichever he liked! Or if he did not fancy either of these alternatives, he could go to hell!
'Chuck us over another dollop of that there white stuff, Bob, shouted the Semi-drunk to Crass, indicating the blancmange. Crass reached out his hand and took hold of the dish containing the 'white stuff', but instead of passing it to the Semi-drunk, he proceeded to demolish it himself, gobbling it up quickly directly from the dish with a spoon.
Observing this, the four men advanced cautiously towards it. Bundy struck a match and held it over the prostrate figure. It was the Semi-drunk. After parting from Philpot, the poor wretch had managed to walk all right for some distance.
It seemed as if a chivalrous desire to spare the feelings of their victims had always prevented them from doing or saying anything to them in the presence of witnesses. When he had drunk a few pints, Crass was a very good hand at these stories. Here is one that he told in the bar of the Cricketers on the Saturday afternoon of the same week that Bill Bates and the Semi-drunk got the sack.
It was hardly worth going at all if they only had half the day. The Semi-drunk remarked that he had just thought of a very good place to go if they decided to have a change. Three years ago he was working for Dauber and Botchit and they went to 'The First In and the Last Out' at Bashford.
They left off scraping and scrubbing, and began throwing buckets of water over the dresser and the walls, laughing uproariously all the time. 'We'll show the b s how to wash down paintwork! shouted the Semi-drunk, as he stood in the middle of the room and hurled a pailful of water over the door of the cupboard. 'Bring us another bucket of water, Bill.
This was greeted with a general murmur of 'Hear, hear, followed by another awkward pause, and then the chairman asked Easton if he would move a resolution to that effect. After some hesitation, Easton agreed, and formally moved: 'That this meeting is in favour of a Beano. The Semi-drunk said that, in order to get on with the business, he would second the resolution.
It was some unfamiliar tune, but when the Semi-drunk Painter heard it he rose unsteadily to his feet and began shuffling and dancing about, singing: 'Oh, we'll inwite you to the wedding, An' we'll 'ave a glorious time! Where the boys an' girls is a-dancing, An' we'll all get drunk on wine. ''Ere! that's quite enough o' that! cried the landlord, roughly. 'We don't want that row 'ere.
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