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Updated: May 25, 2025
For instance, it has been held that a dog has a right to protect not only his life but his dignity; that where a man worries a dog beyond what would be reasonable to expect any self-respectin' critter to stand, that dog has a right to bite that man, an' that man can't collect any damages provided the bitin' is done at the time of the worryin' an' in sudden heat an' passion.
"The minute I find out a girl ain't what a self-respectin' girl ought to be then that lets me out. There's nothin' would keep me friends with her. If ever I was surprised in a human, Lew, it was in Kittie Scogin. She got me my first job here in New York. I give her credit for it, but she done it because she didn't have the right kind of a pull with Billy Howe.
The old lady answered complacently, as she bit off a fresh needleful of thread and looked at her companion over her spectacles: "Yes, dearie, I expect I am. I can do more'n that, too. I can keep up a powerful thinking." "About what, pray?" "How that life is a patchwork quilt. All the colors of the rainbow, and some that any self-respectin' rainbow would scorn to own.
I was about to get started up this way when Pat Hawe come in. "Pat he's the sheriff. I reckon, Miss Majesty, thet sheriffs are new to you, an' fer sake of the West I'll explain to you thet we don't hev many of the real thing any more. Garrett, who killed Billy the Kid an' was killed himself near a year or so ago he was the kind of sheriff thet helps to make a self-respectin' country.
"An' right here I want to remark," Bill went on, "that that animal's familyarity with campfires is suspicious an' immoral." "It knows for certain more'n a self-respectin' wolf ought to know," Henry agreed. "A wolf that knows enough to come in with the dogs at feedin' time has had experiences." "Ol' Villan had a dog once that run away with the wolves," Bill cogitates aloud. "I ought to know.
"Fluffy hair is all the style now," said Matilda, complacently. "Fluffy!" Grandmother grunted. "If that's what you call it, I reckon it'll soon go out. It might have been out for fifteen or twenty years and you not know it. I don't believe any self-respectin' woman would let her hair go like that.
He's a a cross between a Republican mule and a party-bolting boa-constrictor, an' a hybrid like that hasn't got any place in nature. On top of that he drinks ten cents a bottle grape juice and smokes five cent cigars. And he's got the brazen and offensive effrontery to offer 'em to self-respectin' men!"
Robert Morton chuckled at his companion's rage. "Did you?" "Did I?" repeated Willie with scorn. "Can you see me doin' it? No, siree! I just up an' told Jack Nickerson if he warn't man enough to do his own courtin' he warn't man enough for any self-respectin' woman to marry. An' furthermore, I said he needn't step foot over the sill of this shop 'till he'd took some action in the matter.
But yer needn't be afraid that any one will liken yer ter a goat. Any self-respectin' goat would get sore at it. If I wuz ter pick out yer counterpart in ther animile world, I'd say yer most resembled the phillaloo?" "What's a phillaloo?" "A phillaloo is a cross between a penguin and a jassack."
"You've no need to talk like that to a self-respectin' woman as has been in this house more years than you have been weeks! Come along, Candace, and I'll slip you in my room and tell you all about it when I can get away long enough. You see, Miss Betty's being married " "But she's not!" cried Candace wildly. "I was at the church myself.
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