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Updated: June 12, 2025
I am sorry to say I nearly said, "D the lobster!" as Roundhand went and whispered to her that I was ill. "Ay," said Gus, looking very knowing. "Recollect, Mrs. R., that he was at the West End on Thursday, asked to dine, ma'am, with the tip-top nobs. Chaps don't dine at the West End for nothing, do they, R.? If you play at bowls, you know "
"Gus," says I, "I feel very unwell: I wish you'd come home with me." And Gus did not desire anything better; for he had ogled the last girl out of the last church, and the night was beginning to fall. "What! already?" said Mrs. Roundhand; "there is a lobster coming up, a trifling refreshment; not what he's accustomed to, but "
"Law, that's very polite!" said Mr. Roundhand, quite pleased. "Name your day, my boy! Say Saturday, and bring your night-cap with you." "You're very polite, I'm sure. I should be delighted beyond anything, but " "But no buts, my boy!
But there was the speech ay, and at the week's end, although Roundhand was heard on 'Change that day declaring he would bet five to one that Alderman Pash's money would never be paid, at the week's end the money was paid by me to Mrs. Pash's solicitor across the counter, and no doubt Roundhand lost his money. Shall I tell how the money was procured?
But when I have a dance I like to enjoy myself: and Mary Smith often said I was the very best partner at our assemblies. While we were dancing, I told Lady Jane how Roundhand, Gutch, and I, had come down three in a cab, besides the driver; and my account of our adventures made her Ladyship laugh, I warrant you.
In blotted, sloping roundhand was written: "My Dear Harry, "Good-bye, I do fele so very ill, I can't do any more. Don't forget I allwaies was your wiffe. "I am your affex., D. A." We looked at each other in wonder and dismay, sure that the child must be very ill, and indignant that we had not been told.
Did you not see me me, John Brough, whose name is good for millions step out of my coach-and-four into this office, with four pounds nineteen, which I paid in to Mr. Roundhand as the price of half a share for the porter at my lodge-gate? Did you remark that I deducted a shilling from the five pound?"
Roundhand; and out she flounced from the room, without ever so much as wishing us good-night. "Do stay," said the husband, looking very much frightened, "do stay. She won't come back while you're here; and I do wish you'd stay so." But we wouldn't: and when we reached Salisbury Square, I gave Gus a lecture about spending his Sundays idly; and read out one of Blair's sermons before we went to bed.
B.: that cock won't fight!" "They shall be paid to your father, sir." "My father be hanged! I tell you what, Brough, I'm of age; and if you don't pay me my salary, I'll arrest you, by Jingo, I will! I'll have you in quod, or my name's not Bob Swinney!" "Make out a cheque, Mr. Roundhand, for the three months' salary of this perverted young man."
Look at Roundhand, the great baby, trying to beat down a butterfly with his yellow bandanna! Can a man like that comprehend me? can he fill the void in my heart?" Will you be so neglectful when you marry, Mr. Titmarsh?"
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