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Updated: June 16, 2025
So having rung for a shilling's worth of gin-and-water warm, and wishing you was here to take another of the same, I puts my lips to it, and drinks to one as was my frequent pardner in this mortial vale, and am, as in old days, my Betsy's own LETTER: From Herodotus of Halicarnassus to Sophocles the Athenian.
Where is she? "`In the corner there, returns the old hag, removing her dirty little black dhudeen of a pipe for a minnit from between her teeth, in order to spake the bether. `She's a-sottin' in that cheir there, as she hav' been since the mornin', widout sayin' a worrd to mortial saol afther she tould us to sind for the docther.
"The men, now!" said the skipper. "Ah! Two on 'em both done up in what you might call deep-sea-style. But hadn't never done no deep-sea nor yet any other sort o' sea work in their mortial days hands as white and soft as a lady's. One, an old chap with a dial like a full moon on him sly old chap, him! T'other a younger man, looked as if he'd something about him dangerous chap to cross.
"I'd lep down there and fetch him up aisy enough; on'y there was no mortial use goin' after the cow, for niver a crathur that took its stand on four hoofs 'ud git its own len'th up the cliff, unless it might be some little divil of a goat. And the wather's dhrowndin'-deep alongside it afore now."
'Tes certain sure there's lots would never go, ef 'twasn't so mortial hard on the land. 'Tisn't a bare livin', after that. An' they're put upon, right and left they're put upon. 'Tes only a man here and there that 'as something in 'im too strong. I widden never 'ave stayed in the country ef 'twasn't that I couldn't stand the town life.
"Sorra betther bottle ov wine's betuxt this and Salamanca, nor there's fornenst you on the table; it's raal Lachrymachrystal, every spudh ov it." "It's mortial could," says Father Tom. "Well, man alive," says the Pope, "sure, and here's the best ov good claret in the cut decanther."
As for the kitchen, its state cannot be better described than in my Irish cook's words, who cried, "Did mortial man ever see sich a ridiklous mess? Arrah, why couldn't ye let it be thin?"
"Hadendowas I've no fear uv, an' Subadars are Injy nagurs anyhow, though fellow-soldiers uv the Queen that's good to shtand befront uv biscuit-boxes or behoind thim; an' wan has no fear of the thing that's widout fear, an' death's iron enters in aisy whip mortial strength's behind it. But drames I've had enough uv drames in me toime, I have that, Coolin!" He shuddered a little.
Then in a moment we heard: "Weary's on it, it will not come down for us, ma'am. It's the iligant locks we do be havin' in the house; they're mortial shtrong, ma'am!" "Strong, indeed!" exclaimed the incensed Benella, in a burst of New England wrath. "There's nothing strong about the place but the impidence of the people in it!
Tell me this: do you expect, Mrs Dale, that he's to live there all alone by hisself without any one to say a cross word to, unless it be me or Dingles; for Jolliffe's worse than nobody, he's so mortial cross hisself. Of course he can't stand it. If you goes away, Mrs Dale, Mister Bernard, he'll be squire in less than twelve months. He'll come back from the Hingies, then, I suppose?"
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