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Updated: May 10, 2025
When I go among them, I don't try to show off my grammar, or talk about the Constitution, or how many volts there is in electricity or make it appear in any way that I am better educated than they are. They wouldn't stand for that sort of thing. No; I drop all monkeyshines. So you see, I've got to be several sorts of a man in a single day, a lightnin' change artist, so to speak.
"You are, for one thing, if you don't moderate your voice," said Anastacio. "Nueces, you bellow like the bulls of Bashan. Mr. Applegate, meet Mr. Pringle." "What does he mean, then, by such monkeyshines?" demanded the other old Nueces River, chief of police, ex-ranger, and, for this occasion, deputy sheriff. "I got no time for foolishness. And you can't run no whizzer on me, Barela.
Remonstrance availed nothing, and one night when he was cutting up some of his monkeyshines, I became very warm under the collar and told him in language more expressive than elegant, just what I thought of him, threatening to have our wire chief have him fired off the wire. He answered: "Oh! you go to blazes, you big ham. You're too fresh anyway."
Questioned as to how it was possible for Miss Flower to get out without coming down stairs, Miss McGrath said she wasn't good at monkeyshines herself, but "wimmen that could ride sthraddle-wise" were capable of climbs more difficult than that which the vine trellis afforded from the porch floor to the porch roof.
In deciding upon this figure we considered ourselves very moderate in refusing to add probable future increment. It might also be added that we equally neglected to deduct present liabilities. Nobody ever guessed what this mysterious performance of ours meant, but every one came to expect it and to be amused by it. In a mild way we and our fool monkeyshines came to be a well-known institution.
The green creature looked at the brown Monkey, who, after jumping about, sat down on a little hummock of grass to rest. "What did you say you were doing?" asked the bug. "Cutting up Monkeyshines," was the answer. "We Monkeys, whether we are toys or not, call our fun 'Monkeyshines, and I thought I'd cut up a few while I was here by myself. I didn't know you minded."
"It is all the fault of the moon," muttered Lawrence. "It changed last night, and if I had paid any attention to what Aunt Lizzie and Miss Bettie said I might have expected this trouble to-day. A plague take the moon, I say, and all the ills it brings with its monkeyshines!"
He walked over to the corner where he kept a bundle of switches. He picked one up and laid it across his desk. "We'll have no more monkeyshines," he said severely. "Go on with the introducing." One day Abe almost got into real trouble. He had started for school early, as he often did, so that he could read one of Master Crawford's books.
"You shall eat it whenever you want to; an' any time that you get hungry again you come right to me." "Thank you, marm. I must go now, for I left the store all alone." "Run, then; an' if Job abuses you, just let me know it, an' I'll keep him from cuttin' up any monkeyshines."
The Monkey stopped short, and flipped his tail from side to side. "Well, I don't see you, and I don't know who you are," he said, "but if you want to know what I'm doing, I'm cutting up Monkeyshines! That's what I'm doing! Cutting up Monkeyshines!" Out from under a large, green leaf, underneath which he had been sitting, crawled a long green creature.
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