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Updated: May 22, 2025
I could not bear to incur her dislike, but the idea of tying myself down was dreadful to me; and such is the condition of a man who has to choose between two alternatives, and cannot make up his mind. Fearing lest my evil genius should take me to the opera or elsewhere, and in spite of myself make me miss my appointment, I resolved to dine with the Lambertini without having come to any decision.
While this victim of the Jesuits was being executed, I was several times obliged to turn away my face and to stop my ears as I heard his piercing shrieks, half of his body having been torn from him, but the Lambertini and the fat aunt did not budge an inch. Was it because their hearts were hardened?
I will confess, then, that I was humbled because Madame Lambertini made me see that my friend was taller than myself by two inches." "Then she imposed on you, for you are taller than your friend." "I am not speaking of that kind of tallness, but another; you know what I mean, and there my friend is really monstrous." "Monstrous! then what have you to be sorry about?
"It's an amusing business altogether. But did you notice that the Lambertini was angry with you, too? She, perhaps, saw what you were doing, and felt hurt." "Oh! she has got another cause of complaint against me. We have fallen out, and I am leaving her this evening." "Really?" "Yes, I will tell you all about it.
The story of the conclave which elected Cardinal Lambertini pope as Benedict XIV., gives a curious picture of the schemes and intrigues carried on in the mysterious seclusion of the conclave. Clement XII., of the Florentine Corsini family, had died.
The abbe, who saw he could get nothing out of me, turned to Tiretta, and began to speak to him in bad Italian, and at last offered to introduce him to Madame de Lambertini, the widow of one of the Pope's nephews.
Madame Lambertini took a fancy to him; they passed the night together, and in token of the satisfaction he gave her she has given him the ridiculous nickname of 'Count Sixtimes. That's all. I am vexed about it, as my friend was no profligate."
Judge of my surprise when, two minutes afterwards, I heard this question: "But what has 'Sixtimes' got to do with sleeping with Madame Lambertini?" "My dear young lady, the explanation is perfectly simple: my friend in a single night did what a husband often takes six weeks to do." "And you think me silly enough to tell my aunt of what we have been talking? Don't believe it."
Taking up the discourse, I told him that the count was commanded to me by a lady whom I greatly esteemed, and that he had been obliged to leave his country for the present on account of an affair of honour. The Lambertini added that she wished to accommodate him, but had not liked to do so till she had consulted M. le Noir.
"No, because when I saw the beginning of your manoeuvres, and guessed what was coming, I stood in such a way that neither the Lambertini or the pretty niece could see you. I can guess what your goal was, and I must say I admire your hearty appetite. But your wretched victim appears to be rather angry." "Oh! my dear fellow, that's all the affectation of an old maid.
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