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Updated: June 19, 2025
"I'll swear 'em into line, you holler 'Go! and the Honer'ble Bickford will finger that new gold stop-watch of his and see how fast they do it. Northin' to it, I say!" "This is the blastedest town a man ever settled down in to spend his last days in peace and quietness," growled the Cap'n.
"Well, when some of the rest of you have done as much for this town as Honer'ble Bickford," broke in the president, testily, "you can have the right to criticise. As it is, I can't see anything but jealousy in it. And I've heard enough of it. Now, to make this thing all pleasant and agreeable to the Honer'ble Bickford, we've got to have Cap'n Sproul and Hiram Look act as judges with him.
"The supporters o' that rascal, Colonel Kleppish, who has been occupyin' my berth for goin' on eight years," he said with fierce indignation. "I fear I do not understand," remarked Patsy, really bewildered. "What was your berth, which Colonel Kleppish has has usurped?" "See that 'Honer'ble' on the card?" "I do."
Cap'n Aaron Sproul, late skipper of the Jefferson P. Benn, sat by the bedside of his uncle, "One-arm" Jerry, and gazed into the latter's dimming eyes. "It ain't bein' a crowned head, but it's honer'ble," pleaded the sick man, continuing the conversation. His eager gaze found only gloominess in his nephew's countenance.
Take your choice, girl either to make good money out o' this campaign, or be run out of town, neck an' crop! It's up to you to decide." "In thirty seconds," said Patsy, her face as white as was Boglin's, "I shall ring this bell to summon my men to throw you out." The Honer'ble Ojoy slowly rose and put on his hat. "Look out!" he said warningly. "I will," snapped Patsy.
"I am the Honer'ble Ojoy Boglin, miss," he replied, dwelling lovingly upon the "Honer'ble." "I have not had the honor of your acquaintance," said she, deciding she did not like her visitor. "What is your business, please?" The Hon. Ojoy coughed. Then he suddenly remembered he was in the presence of a lady and took off his hat. Next he slid slowly into the vacant chair at the end of the table.
"I've invited the Honer'ble J. Percival Bickford to act as the starter and one of the judges of the races," he announced. Trustee Silas Wallace, superintendent of horses, had put on his hat. Now he took it off again. "What!" he almost squalled. "You see," explained the president, with eager conciliatoriness, "we've only got to scratch his back just a little to have him "
I admit I made a mistake in ever allowing him to induce me to build at Royal. Boglin owned the land and I used his money, so I gave up to him; but I'm through with the honer'ble ass now. Put it all in the paper; it'll make him feel good. You might add that I'm taking the evening train for New York, shaking the dust of your miserable village from my feet for good and all."
"It won't take many clips o' the tongue to tell you what we've come for. We three here are a committee from the Smyrna Ancient and Honer'ble Firemen's Association to notify you that at a meetin' last ev'nin' you was unanimously elected a member of that organization, and " "Oh, Aaron!" cried Louada Murilla, ecstatically. "How glad I am this honor has been given to you! My own father belonged."
"I have, sir!" declared Patsy, raising her head to frown discouragingly upon the Honer'ble Ojoy. "Mr. Skeelty is acting in a very disagreeable manner. He has not only boycotted our paper and refused to pay for the subscriptions he engaged, but I understand he is encouraging his workmen to annoy the Millville people, and especially this printing office." "Well durn Skeelty!" ejaculated Mr.
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