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Updated: June 11, 2025
If Life to my Familey was a matter of petticoats, and to me was a matter of fragrant flours, why cause them to suffer by pointing out the diference? I did not feel superior. Only diferent. That evening, while mother and Leila were out at a Festivaty, I gave father his neck-tie. He was overcome with joy and for a moment could not speak. Then he said: "Good gracious, Bab!
But the next moment I think not, but that if I can discover William's plot myself, my Familey will no longer ignore me and talk about my studying Vocal next winter instead of coming out. To return to William, dear Log or journal. I had been asleep for some time, but wakened up to find myself standing in the dining room with a napkin in each hand.
Well, I was growing cold and more hauty every moment, so I said: "I don't see why the mere mention of a Flask upsets you so. It isn't because you aren't used to one, especialy when traveling. And since I was a mere baby I have been acustomed to intoxicants." "Barbara!" she intergected, in the most dreadful tone. "I mean, in the Familey," I said.
Hannah has just come in and offered to lend me three dollars. I refused hautily, but at last rang for her and took two. I might as well have a taxi tonight. Never do I have any luck. I am a broken thing, crushed to earth. But "Truth crushed to earth will rise again." Whittier? I had my dinner in bed, on account of my cold, and was let severly alone by the Familey.
"Certainly NOT," I said. "You needn't stick your lip out at me, Miss Bab, that was only giving you a chance, and forgetting my Duty to help you, not to mention probably losing my place when the Familey finds out." "Finds out what?" "What you've been up to, the stage, and writing plays, and now liquor and tobacco!" Now I may be at fault in the Narative that follows.
"Well, who would have thought it! And not a word to me about it, the secretive old duffer!" He held out his hand to me. "Congratulations, Barbara," he said heartily. "Since you absolutely refuse me, you couldn't do better. He's the finest chap I know. If it's Valentine the Familey is kicking up such a row about, you leave it to me. I'll tell them a few things." I was stunned.
But I must confess that to me, after ten dollars a month at school, it seemed a large sum. I had but just returned for the summer holadays, and the Familey was having a counsel about me. They always have a counsel when I come home, and mother makes a list, begining with the Dentist. "I should make it a Thousand," she said to father. "The child is in shameful condition.
Being still awake when the Familey came upstairs, I went into her room and experamented while she was taking down her hair. "Well?" she said at last. "You needn't stare like that. I can't do my hair this way without a Swich." "I was merely thinking," I said in a lofty tone. "Then go and think in bed." "Does it or does it not concern you as to what I was thinking?" I demanded.
I explained through the door that nothing was wrong, and that I would give them a dollar each to go back to bed and not alarm my dear parents. Which they promised. It was then midnight, and soon after my Familey returned and went to bed.
As I record this awfull day, dear Dairy, there comes again into my mind the thought that I DO NOT BELONG HERE. I am not like them. I do not even resemble them in features. And, if I belonged to them, would they not treat me with more consideration and less disipline? Who, in the Familey, has my noze? It is all well enough for Hannah to observe that I was a pretty baby with fat cheaks.
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