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Updated: May 4, 2025
Elburtus had finished loadin' the salt, and now he wus a holdin' the horses for the man to load some spring-beds. And the horses wus skairt by 'em, and wuz jest a liftin' Elburtus right up offen his feet. Why, they pranced, and tore, and lifted him up, and switched him round, and then they'd set him down with a crash, and whinner.
Josiah told him we wus goin' over towards night with the team, and could carry 'em as well as not; and he hadn't better try to help, filin' saws wus such a sort of a raspin' undertakin'. But Elburtus said "he should probably go through more raspin' jobs before he died, or got the nomination; and Josiah could have 'em to bring home that night." So he sot out with 'em walkin' a foot.
And he said what made him feel the worst about it wuz to think that he should have shut him up axidental when he wus a helpin' so good." Says I, "The mean, impudent creeter! As good as Elburtus wuz!" "Wall," says Josiah, "you know what I told you, there is such a thing as bein' too good."
Why, the neighbors all got to lovin' him so, why, they jest about worshipped him. Why, there hain't no tellin' how much helpfuler he wuz than common folks, and urbaner. Why, Josiah and me drove into Jonesville one day towards night; and Elburtus had been there all day.
And, come to think it over, I don't s'pose Philander had laid any plot to keep him away from 'lection; but he is a great case for fun, and he had laughed and tickled about Elburtus bein' so polite and helpful, and had made a good deel of fun of him. And then, he thinks a awful sight of his wive's brother, and wanted him to get the election.
Says I, "Elburtus, what made you drink it, when it went aginst your stomach?" says I. "Why," says he in a faint voice, and pale round his lips as any thing, "I didn't want to hurt his feelin's by refusin'." Says I, out to one side, "Did you ever, Josiah Allen, see such goodness in your life?" "I never see such dumb foolishness," says he.
And Elburtus, not wantin' to hurt his feelin's, drinked about 3 quarts. It made him deathly sick, for it went aginst his stomach from the first: he never loved it. And Miss Bobbet duz fix it dretful sickish, sweetens it with sale mollasses for one thing. Oh, how sick that feller wus when he come in to supper! had to lay right down on the lounge.
I wus whitewashin' the kitchen, havin' put it off while Cicely wus there; and there wus a man to work a patchin' up the wall in one of the chambers, and right there and then, Elburtus Smith Gansey come. And truly, we found him as clever a critter as ever walked the earth. It wus jest before korkuss; and he wus kinder visatin' round amongst his relations, and makin' himself agreable.
But, as Josiah says, who would have thought that Elburtus would have offered to carry that plow home, and throw down the fodder? But, at any rate, Philander turned the key on him while he wus up over- head, and locked him in there for the day. A meaner, low-liveder, miserabler caper, I never see nor heard of.
And I couldn't help feelin' kind o' sorry for him, though highly tickled for Elburtus. We both of us, Josiah and me, felt very pleased and extremely tickled to think that Elburtus wus so sure of it; for there wus a good deal of money in the office, besides honor, sights of honor.
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