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Updated: June 24, 2025
Actuated by these apprehensions, Denis, on the morning of the wedding, had gone to Ussher to unfold his budget of dreadful news, to assure the Captain that his only object "was to get himself married," and to see that the "pigs and the thrifle of change were all right," and strongly to advise the Captain to stay away; "not that it wouldn't be a great honer for a poor boy like him to see his honer down there, for he had the greatest rispect in life for him, and all that wore the King's sword; but there war no knowing what them boys might be afther when they got the dhrink in them."
Th' prespiration don't dhry on thim afther a hard pursoot iv Aggynaldoo an' th' capture iv Gin'ral Pantaloons de Garshy; they begin to think iv home an' mother sindin' down th' lawn-sprinkler to be filled with bock, an' they go off somewhere, an' not bein' able to dhry thimsilves with dhrink, they want to die. Th' disease is called nostalgia or home-sickness, or thirst."
If a man wud rather take thim thin dhrink at a bar or go down to Hop Lung's f'r a long dhraw, he's within his rights. Manny a man have I known who was a victim iv th' tortures iv a cigareet cough who is now livin' comfortable an' happy as an opeem fiend be takin' Doctor Wheezo's Consumption Cure. I knew a fellow wanst who suffered fr'm spring fever to that extent that he niver did a day's wurruk.
I see wan iv thim stockin' up at a wholesale dhrug store last week. If the sojers escape th' knock-out dhrops they come down-town an' Doherty takes care iv thim. A sojer gets thirteen dollars a month, we'll say. Twelve dollars he can devote to dhrink an' wan dollar to th' fine. Twelve times eight hundhred an' twelve times that well, 'tis no small item in th' coorse iv a year.
"Well," said Mr. Dooley, "d'ye know, I suspicted ye might." "In th' ol' times whin I was a yachtsman " began Mr. Dooley. "Scowman," said Mr. Hennessy. "Yachtsman," said Mr. Dooley. "Whin I was a yachtsman, all a man needed to race was a flat-bottomed boat, an umbrella, an' a long dhrink.
But there's an Englishman you'll find at the Swan an' Anchor a sneakin' blackguard, as would sell his own mother for dhrink he'll help you if you wants to have a hand in the job. I'm off it."
One might as well dhrink a glass o' whiskey wid his sweetheart, or spake a tinder word to her, on the wings of a windmill as here. There now, they're as level as you plase, acushla! Sit down, you jewel you, an' give me the egg-shell, till we have our Sup o' the crathur in comfort. Faith, it was too soon for us to be comin' down in the world?"
North, East, South, an' West! Jock, ye quakin' hayrick, come an' dhrink. But Learoyd, half mad with the fear of death presaged in the swelling veins in his neck, was begging his Maker to strike him dead, and fighting for more air between his prayers. A second time Ortheris drenched the quivering body with water, and the giant revived.
Sir William was Art's favorite patron. "Sir William, your honor, has all this at his place." "But I think my views are finer." "They're fine enough," replied Art; "but where's the lake afore the door?" The Squire said no more about his prospects. "Art," he continued, "would you carry a letter from me to M ?" "I'll be wantin' somethin' to dhrink on the way," said Art.
"A little sup o' this," said he, "won't take your life," approaching Jemmy with a bottle of as good poteen as ever escaped the eye of an exciseman; "it'll refresh you for you're tired, or I wouldn't offer it, by rason that one bint on what you're bint on, oughtn't to be makin' freedoms wid the same dhrink. But there's a time for everything, an' there's a time for this.
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