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'What we want an' what th' ol' reliable house iv Aggynaldoo, he says, 'supplies to th' thrade, he says, 'is fr-esh liberty r-right off th' far-rm, he says. 'I can't do annything with ye'er proposition, he says. 'I can't give up, he says, 'th' rights f'r which f'r five years I've fought an' bled ivry wan I cud reach, he says.
Dooley replied, with brightening eyes, "I know what they'd do with him in this ward. They'd give that pathrite what he asks, an' thin they'd throw him down an' take it away fr'm him." "Well, sir," said Mr. Dooley, "it looks now as if they was nawthin' left f'r me young frind Aggynaldoo to do but time.
"Las' summer there wasn't a warmer pathrite annywhere in our imperyal dominions thin this same Aggynaldoo. I was with him mesilf. Says I: 'They'se a good coon, I says.
Says me Cousin George: "Aggynaldoo, me buck, he says, 'th' war is over, he says, 'an' we've settled down to th' ol' game, he says. 'They're no more heroes. All iv thim has gone to wurruk f'r th' magazines. They're no more pathrites, he says. 'They've got jobs as gov'nors or ar-re lookin' f'r thim or annything else, he says.
Whin me frind Gin'ral Merritt was ladin' a gallant charge again blank catredges, who was it ranged his noble ar-rmy iv pathrites behind him f'r to see that no wan attackted him fr'm th' sea but Aggynaldoo? He was a good man thin, a good noisy man. "Th' throuble was he didn't know whin to knock off. He didn't hear th' wurruk bell callin' him to come in fr'm playin' ball an' get down to business.
An' off wint th' brave pathrite to do his jooty. He done it, too. Whin Cousin George was pastin' th' former hated Castiles, who was it stood on th' shore shootin' his bow-an-arrow into th' sky but Aggynaldoo?
An' he r-rode up Fifth Avnoo between smilin' rows iv hotels an' dhrug stores, an' tin-dollar boxes an' fifty-cint seats an' he says to himsilf: 'Holy smoke, if Aggynaldoo cud on'y see me now. An' he was proud an' happy, an' he says: 'Raypublics ar-re not always ongrateful. An' they ain't. On'y whin they give ye much gratichood ye want to freeze some iv it, or it won't keep."
'So to th' woodpile with ye! he says; 'f'r ye can't go on cillybratin' th' Foorth iv July without bein' took up f'r disordherly conduct, he says. "An' Aggynaldoo doesn't undherstand it. An' he gathers his Archery Club ar-round him, an' says he: 'Fellow-pathrites, he says, 'we've been betrayed, he says. 'We've been sold out without, he says, 'gettin' th' usual commission, he says.
If he had him outside he'd call him a liar. Th' raypublicans have proved that Willum Jennings Bryan is a thraitor be th' letther written be Dr. Lem Stoggins, th' cillybrated antithought agytator iv Spooten Duyvil to Aggynaldoo in which he calls upon him to do nawthin' till he hears fr'm th' doc.
Some iv th' poor divvles iv heroes is liberated fr'm th' cares iv life; an' th' r-rest iv thim is up in threes, an' wishin' they was home, smokin' a good see-gar with mother. "An' all this because Aggynaldoo didn't hear th' whistle blow. He thought th' boom was still on in th' hero business.
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