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The other night I awoke with the awfulest pain you ever heard of. It was that night that you give me and my chum the bottle of pickled oysters that had begun to work. Well, I could't sleep, and I thought I would call the hired girls, and they got up and got breakfast to going, and then I rapped on Pa's and Ma's door and told them the breakfast was getting cold, and they got up and came down.

Dad kicked his camel in the ribs, but it wouldn't budge. He asked me if I could't think up some way to start the procession, and I stopped my jackass and thought a minute, and told dad I had it.

"Well, ter make a long story sho't, Skundus said he had gone ter de barn dat Sunday atternoon befo' de Monday w'en he could't be foun', fer ter hunt aigs, en' wiles he wuz up dere de hay had 'peared so sof en' nice dat he had laid down fer take a little nap; dat it wuz mawnin' w'en he woke en' foun' hisse'f all covered up whar de hay had fell over on 'im.

I asked her to give a pound, or pounds, as she felt disposed. But she answered me firmly that she could't give one cent to the Smedleys, she wuz principled against it. And I asked her, "Why?" And she said, because the old lady wuz proud and wanted a home, and she thought that pride wuz so wicked, that it ort to be put down.

Den dey swar dat I a liar; dat dey know'd Massa Daniel; dat he fetched no niggas hyar from 'Hio. Den when dey say "'Hio," golly, I be glad; kase I could't smell out de name afore; forgot him clar, sho'. Den I say I comed from 'Hio awhile ago, an' stay wid you, kase I know'd you back dar in 'Hio. Den dey ax me w'at town I comed from. Den dey get me. I skea'd den.

"I'm from New York, last." "I thort ye could't be from roun' here, nowheres, to as' sech a queschin. Why don' they pay their debts? Did ye hear that Zeke? Why, jess caze they ain' no money in the kentry tew pay em with. It don' make a mite o' odds haow much propty a feller's got. It don' fetch nothin tew a sale. The credtor buys it in fer nothin, an the feller goes to jail fer the balance.