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"I dare say I AM selfish, but what I was thinking was that the terrific wigging, don't you know? well, I'd take it from HER. She knows about one's life about our having to go on, by no fault of our own, as our parents start us. She knows all about wants no one has more than mamma." Mr. Cashmore soundlessly glared his amusement. "So she'll say it's all right?" "Oh no; she'll let me have it hot.
And oh alone," she insisted: "you needn't make phrases I know too well what I'm about." "One hopes really you do," pursued the unquenched Mr. Cashmore. "If that's what one gets by having known your mother !" "It wouldn't have helped YOU" Mrs. Brook retorted. "And won't you have to say it's ALL you were to get?" she pityingly murmured to her other visitor.
"You try to believe what you CAN'T believe, in order to give yourself excuses. And she does the same only less, for she recognises less in general the need of them. She's so grand and simple." Poor Mr. Cashmore stared. "Grander and simpler than I, you mean?" Mrs. Brookenham thought. "Not simpler no; but very much grander.
In the bedroom a candle was burning on a dusty and empty dressing-table. Dr. Cashmore moved it to the vicinity of the bed, which was like an oasis of decent arrangement in the desert of comfortless chamber; then he stooped to examine the sick valet. "He's shivering!" exclaimed the doctor softly.
Presenting himself at Buckingham Crescent three days after the Sunday spent at Mertle, Vanderbank found Lady Fanny Cashmore in the act of taking leave of Mrs. Brook and found Mrs. Brook herself in the state of muffled exaltation that was the mark of all her intercourse and most of all perhaps of her farewells with Lady Fanny.
Experience was to be taken as showing that one might get a five-pound note as one got a light for a cigarette; but one had to check the friendly impulse to ask for it in the same way. Mr. Cashmore had in fact looked surprised, yet not on the whole so surprised as the young man seemed to have expected of him.
Cashmore had grown restless; he picked a stray thread off the knee of his trousers. "Ah when you talk about 'adducing' !" He appeared to intimate as with the hint that if she didn't take care she might bore him that it was the kind of word he used only in the House of Commons. "When I talk about it you can't meet me," she placidly returned. But she fixed him with her weary penetration.
He was able, conscientious, chronically tired, bald and fifty. He was also, strange as it may seem, shy; though indeed he had grown used to it, as a man gets used to a hollow tooth or an eel to skinning. No qualities of the young girl's heart about the heart of Dr. Cashmore!
After which, as her visitor seemed not only too reduced to doubt it, but too baffled to distinguish audibly, for his credit, between resignation and admiration, she produced: "Because she's purely instinctive. Her instincts are splendid but it's terrific." "That's all I ever maintained it to be!" Mr. Cashmore cried. "It IS terrific." "Well," his friend answered, "I'm watching her.
But, as a light on that danger, would YOU, in the circumstances, come down?" Mrs. Brook, however, could for light only look darkness. "Oh you don't love ME!" Vanderbank, still with his watch, stared then as an alternative at the fire. "You haven't yet told me you know, if Mr. Cashmore now comes EVERY day." "My dear man, how can I say? You've just your occasion to find out." "From HER, you mean?"
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