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Updated: June 1, 2025
Men and women exploiters all, or parasites elegantly and coolly clad in white, smote the swift sphere upon the tennis-court, with jest and laughter. Others, attended by caddies mere proletarian scum, bent beneath the weight of cleeks and brassies moved across the smooth-cropped links, kept in condition by grazing sheep and by steam-rollers.
A peculiarly caustic but half-unconscious humour is the characteristic of caddies everywhere, but particularly in the north, and while golfers continue to lack absolute perfection, and their ministering attendants to expect it from them every time, it will probably remain a characteristic.
Since then, month in and month out, day after day, in patient hope, the two discredited members of the educated community of Stockbridge may be seen, accompanied by caddies, toiling around the links in a desperate belief that the miracle that would restore them to standing may be repeated.
He made up his mind there would be no more things like that to have to remember. "You can tell old Bob Caldwell," he wrote from college to his uncle, "that he'll sport no more caddies and golf balls at my expense. Flunking is too damned expensive every way, saving your presence, Uncle Phil. No more of it for this child. But don't get it into your head I am a violently reformed character.
"Are you the individual responsible for the delay in starting?" I admitted it. "I seem to be chronically late. Even watches lose time as soon as I wear them." She laughed. "Your responsibilities can't be very heavy." Well, they weren't of course, though it's surprising how many clubs, caddies, and chorus girls have depended on me at various times for appreciable portions of their incomes.
I was in real need of having my spirits curbed, so I ventured to inquire after a phase of the game that has always dampened my ardor in the past the caddie service. I did not expect that this could attain perfection even in Olympus, and I was not far wrong. "You must have pretty lively caddies," I threw out. Adonis sighed. "You'd think so, but that's where we are always in trouble.
Then he gave the clubs and half-a-crown to the caddies, and when they were out of hearing, added, "Miss Champers, I have been wondering for some time whether it is possible that you would become such an ally to me." "I know nothing of business, Sir Robert; my tastes do not lie that way." "You know well that I was not speaking of business, Miss Champers.
They discovered themselves held up, each with a finger and thumb under the armpits, and with the perplexed brown eyes of young Caddles scanning their warm flushed faces. They were naturally dumb with the emotions of their situation. "Why do you like doing that?" asked young Caddies.
If the dame in front was goin' to talk about Miss Devon, why didn't she tell somethin' worth while? Why didn't she tell, fer ins'ance, that Miss Devon played the best golf of any woman in the club, and had beaten Mrs. Lytton to a frazzle in a match last month? An' why didn't she say somethin' about how generous Miss Devon was to caddies in the matter of skates and boxing-gloves and clothes?
Ice is cold, fire is hot, water is wet, and caddies are caddies." "Very true," said I, reflecting upon the ways of "Some Caddies I have Met." "What do you pay them a round?" "One hundred and twenty-five dollars," said Adonis. "Cheap enough," said I. "But tell me, Adonis," I continued, "who is your amateur champion?" "Jupiter, of course," said Adonis, with an impatient shake of his head.
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