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Updated: May 27, 2025
He comes into the Colonel's joint, ca'm an' considerate, an' gives it out thar's goin' to be trouble if the Colonel don't close his game or play in his own fiddlers. "'Which if you-all don't close your game or hunt out your own music, says Hamilton, 'I'm mighty likely to get my six-shooter an' close it for you.
It wouldn't be you, Tom Sawyer, if you was to let such a chance go by. I reckon it ain't going to suffer none for lack of paint," I says, "when you start in to scollop the facts." "Well, now," he says, perfectly ca'm, "what would you say if I was to tell you I ain't going to start in at all?" I was astonished to hear him talk so. I says: "I'd say it's a lie. You ain't in earnest, Tom Sawyer?"
'An', says th' ca'm Englishman, 'if it wasn't f'r our common hurtage, he says, 'I'd make ye jump over th' gran' stand, he says. 'Th' English always cud beat us r-runnin', says the sage iv Matsachoosetts. 'Th' Americans start first an' finishes last, says th' Englishman. An' I had to pull thim apart."
"Now, what do you s'pose this old Navajo does? Lopes straight over to the New York Store is ca'm as a June day about it, too an' gets a six-shooter. "The next information we gets of Crawfish, 'bang! goes his new gun, an' the bullet cuts along over Jack Moore's head too high for results. New gun that a-way, an' Crawfish not up on his practice; of course he overshoots.
I want a smoke. And you'll say, kind of careless like, as if it warn't anything, you'll say, 'Yes, I got my OLD pipe, and another one, but my tobacker ain't very good. And I'll say, 'Oh, that's all right, if it's STRONG enough. And then you'll out with the pipes, and we'll light up just as ca'm, and then just see 'em look!" "By jings, that'll be gay, Tom! I wish it was NOW!"
They took it for the sea in a dead ca'm; but we was so high up, anyway, that if it had been the sea and rough, it would 'a' looked smooth, all the same, in the night, that way. We was all in a powerful excitement now, and grabbed the glasses and hunted everywheres for London, but couldn't find hair nor hide of it, nor any other settlement nor any sign of a lake or a river, either.
'R-run over an' wake up th' loot at th' station, an' let thim Americans out, or, he says, 'we'll go to the flure, he says. "That's Fitz. He's ca'm, an' he waits part iv th' time. That's whin he's asleep. But, as soon as his eyes opins, his face begins to flare up like wan iv thim r-round stoves in a woodman's shanty whin rosiny wood is thrun in.
But the king was ca'm. He says: "If gentlemen kin afford to pay a dollar a mile apiece to be took on and put off in a yawl, a steamboat kin afford to carry 'em, can't it?" So they softened down and said it was all right; and when we got to the village they yawled us ashore.
The king he reads it and puts it in his pocket, and says: "Poor William, afflicted as he is, his HEART'S aluz right. Asks me to invite everybody to come to the funeral wants me to make 'em all welcome. But he needn't a worried it was jest what I was at." Then he weaves along again, perfectly ca'm, and goes to dropping in his funeral orgies again every now and then, just like he done before.
Which jest the same these children of nacher don't like the idee of downin' your parent none, an' it's apparent Bloojacket's already half exiled. "As he stands thar roominatin, with the hot August sun beatin' down, thar's a atmosphere of sadness to go with Bloojacket. But you-all would have to guess at it; his countenance is as ca'm as on that murderin' evenin' in the half-breed's restauraw.
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