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"Dats a fac, Jim," cried Uncle Tony, "I forgot 'bout de water." "Well, Jim," queried Mr. Woodward, "how do you account for it?" "Marse James," Uncle Jim sagely replied, "it 'pears to me dat somebody got under de groun' and dig de dirt out and de water mashed it down." "Jim," exclaimed Tony, "you am de biggist fool dat I ebber seed. How's anybody gwine tu git under de groun' to dig.
He wa'n't satisfied to git the best piece an' the biggist piece he hated to hev any one else git anythin' at all. I don't believe he ever laughed in his life, except over some kind o' suff'rin' man or beast an' what'd tickle him the most was to be the means on't.
Fact is," he continued, "my gettin' you up here was putty consid'able of an experiment, but I ben watchin' ye putty close, an' I'm more'n satisfied. Mebbe Timson c'd beat ye at figurin' an' countin' money when you fust come, an' knowed more about the pertic'ler points of the office, but outside of that he was the biggist dumb-head I ever see, an' you know how he left things.
Wa'al, about a month or so after he come to me with tears in his eyes, as ye might say, an' says, 'I got somethin' I want to show ye, an' handed out a letter from the house in New York he had some of his biggist dealin's with, tellin' him that they regretted" here David gave John a nudge "that they couldn't give him the extensions he ast for, an' that his paper must be paid as it fell due some twelve hunderd dollars.
"As I look back on't now," he began, "it kind o' seems as if it must 'a' ben some other feller, an' yet I remember it all putty dum'd well too all but one thing, an' that the biggist part on't, an' that is how I ever come to git married at all. She was a widdo' at the time, an' kep' the boardin' house where I was livin'. It was up to Syrchester.
"Pump away, lads," cried Baldwin, looking back at his assistants. "Whist! What's that?" asked the pupil excitedly, as a hissing sound buzzed round his head. "Why, that's the air coming in. Now then, I'll screw on the glass. Are you all right?" "All right," replied Rooney, telling, as he said himself afterwards, "one of the biggist lies he iver towld in his life!"
I know in reason it was yistidy, for I was a splittin' some wood when he fotch the thing along, draggin' it by the tail. Though that mout have been day before yistidy. I believe it was day before yistidy. Anyhow it was the biggist black snake ever killed out there since the war, but of course in my day they killed bigger ones. He found him out in a blackberry patch and mauled him to death.
And yit, the biggist liar I ever seed couldn't more than write his name. What do you think of them folks in thar, Jim?" Jim strode off, came back and standing with one hand resting on the rail fence that surrounded the old man's door yard, hung his head and replied: "Old Satan sometimes puts good clothes on his temptations, Uncle Jasper."
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