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Updated: June 3, 2025
Why, I hope all hours are lawful with a Man's own Wife. Sir Cau. But wise Men have respect to Times and Seasons. Sir Feeb. Enter Ralph. Ral. Sir, here's a young Gentleman without wou'd speak with you. Sir Feeb. Bear. Pray, Sir, use mine, it is a travell'd Blade I can assure you, Sir. Sir Feeb. I thank you, Sir. Enter Ralph and Bellmour disguised, gives him a Letter, he reads. How my Nephew! Bel.
Alons, Entrons. SCENE II. A Chamber. Enter Celinda, and Nurse. Cel. I wonder my Brother stays so long: sure Mr. Bellmour is not yet arriv'd, yet he sent us word he would be here to day. Lord, how impatient I grow! Nur. Ay, so methinks; if I had the hopes of enjoying so sweet a Gentleman as Mr.
Not one kind Wound to send me to my Grave, And yet between their angry Swords I ran, Expecting it from Bellmour, or my Brother's: Oh, my hard Fate! that gave me so much Misery, And dealt no Courage to prevent the shock. Why came I off alive, that fatal Place Where I beheld my Bellmour, in th'embrace Of my extremely fair, and lovely Rival? Enter Sir Timothy, Sham and Sharp, with Fidlers and Boy.
Bellmour, as I take it but Sir Timothy Tawdrey, that Spark of Men. Cel. Oh, name him not Let me not in one Moment Descend from Heaven to Hell How came that wretched thing into thy Noddle? Nur. Faith, Mistress, I took pity of thee, I saw you so elevated with Thoughts of Mr. Bellmour, I found it necessary to take you down a degree lower. Cel. Why did not Heaven make all Men like lo Bellmour?
Bel. Oh, I am mad, and know not what I do. I have took in the Poison which you sent, in those few fatal Words, "Forgive me, my Celinda, I am married" 'Twas thus you said And I have only Life left to return, "Forgive me my sweet Bellmour, I am dead." Can I hear this, and live? I am a Villian!
Take notice I am affronted in your Lodgings for you, Bellmour You take me for an Ass therefore meet me to morrow Morning about five, with your Sword in your Hand, behind Southampton House. Bel. Dull Animal! The Gods cou'd ne'er decree So bright a Maid shou'd be possest by thee. SCENE I. A Palace. Enter Nurse with a Light. Nur.
I neither doubt thy Industry, nor Love; Go, and be careful of my Interest there, Whilst I preserve thine as intirely here. SCENE III. Sir Timothy's House. Enter Sir Timothy, Sham, Sharp, and Boy. Sharp. Good morrow, Sir Timothy; what, not yet ready, and to meet Mr. Bellmour at Five? the time's past. Sir Tim. Ay, Pox on't I han't slept to Night for thinking on't. Sham.
I need not have been brib'd for that, his Breach of Faith both to my Sister and my self, enough incites me to Revenge He has not yet enjoy'd her, that Blessing is reserv'd for me alone; and though the Priest have joyn'd 'em, that Marriage may be disannull'd, and she has a Fortune sufficient to excuse her other Faults. Enter Bellmour sad. Hah! the Man I seek so near my Lodgings too Sir! Bel. Sir!
Too well, would I had never heard thee. Gay. Now I being the Confident in your Amours, the Jack-go-between the civil Pimp or so you left her in charge with me at your Departure. Bel. I did so. Gay. I saw her every day; and every day she paid the Tribute of a shower of Tears, to the dear Lord of all her Vows, young Bellmour: Till faith at last, for Reasons manifold, I slackt my daily Visits. Bel.
The next morning Lady Fulbank discovers the trick which has been played upon her and rates both her husband and lover soundly. Bellmour and Leticia arriving throw themselves on her protection. Sir Feeble and Sir Cautious are at length obliged to acquiesce in the existing state of things and to resign their ladies to their two gallants.
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