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Updated: June 19, 2025
SHE took me to task, too, for not laying the yacht up on Sunday that the men could go 'to kirk, and for swearing at a bargeman who ran across our bows. It's their perfect simplicity and sincerity in all this that gets me! You'd have thought that the old man was my guardian, and the daughter my aunt." After a pause he uttered a reminiscent laugh.
He goes back to his common room with fond reminiscences of Ermine Castle or Strawberry Hall. He writes to the dear countess, to say that dear Lord Lollypop is getting on very well at St. Boniface, and that the accident which he met with in a scuffle with an inebriated bargeman only showed his spirit and honor, and will not permanently disfigure his lordship's nose.
"Yes, mother, he was ten yards from the bank; and now tell me, do you think you ever saw me before?"... She looked at him. "Oh, it's you! Why we thought you were drowned." "I was picked up by a bargeman." "Well, come into the house and tell us what you've been doing." "I've been seafaring," he said, taking a chair. "But what about this Ulick?" "He's your brother, that's all."
Got there by twelve o'clock, taking into my boat, for company, a man that desired a passage a certain western bargeman, with whom I had good sport, talking of the old woman of Woolwich, and telling him the whole story. 3rd.
And I says, says I, 'Cause I thought she'd look fust-rate, says I, 'and I think so still. An' he says, 'DEW yer? Then ye can just pay for the bloomin' paint yerself, says he. An' I 'ad to, too." A murmur of sympathy ran round the room. Breaking noisily in on it came Bobbie. She burst open the swing door crying breathlessly: "Bill! I want Bill the Bargeman." There was a stupefied silence.
When he turned round suddenly from listening to a long account of one poor family's distresses, and saw Tom Burrows, the gigantic bargeman, whose six children the Curate had baptised in a lump, and whose baby had been held at the font by Lucy Wodehouse herself, looking at him wistfully with rude affection, and something that looked very much like pity, it is impossible to describe the bitterness that welled up in the mind of the Perpetual Curate.
A drunken poltroon of a bargeman was coming up from Liffey-side, lurching and yawing like a Dutch hooker in a gale; and seeing them in a little bunch on the cobblestones, he took an anger at them in his wooden head, and, whether purposely or not I know not, but he elbowed up against Miss Maria and drove her into the dirty kennel; and she gave a faint scream, for her shoes were destroyed with the mud, and it was the only pair she had to her name.
I don't know what's the matter with all my children, and yours, Mr Pontifex, is just as bad, but they none of 'em likes book learning, though they learn anything else fast enough. Why, as for Jack here, he's almost as good a bargeman as I am." And he looked fondly and patronisingly towards his offspring.
All were good swimmers, and would have cared little for the ducking had it occurred accidentally, but the roars of laughter of the bargeman, and the chaff with which he assailed them as they scrambled up the bank, showed clearly enough that they had been upset maliciously.
I know nothing about this affair, but if you can point out the boys you suspect I will of course inquire into it." The bargeman departed, grumbling that he did not know one of the young imps from another, but if he did find them, he'd wring their necks for them to a certainty.
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